Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Verbally Abusive Relationships - Patricia Jones, M.A.

Verbal Abuse is Scary
If you have been or are the victim of verbal abuse from someone you love, or who says they love you, it can be a terrifying experience. In fact, it makes you sick to your stomach, that "hole in the pit of your stomach" kind of feeling. And many times, verbal abuse comes when you least expect it. Everything appears to be going fine, and then WHAMO, out of nowhere YOU are all of a sudden the TARGET for someone else's anger or their inability to control their own emotions. They get upset at something THEY DID, usually, and then they verbally lash out at you, as if you are the one who messed up. And it happens over and over and over again.

I call it VERBAL RAGE.
This supposedly calm person erupts like a fiery volcano over the slightest thing, and then can also remain calm over things that most people would respond to very vocally. It is maddening! If it were not so pathetic, it would be funny.

First you must identify verbal abuse for what it is: ABUSE To be the target of someone else's rage is never fun. And over time, it can weaken every strength that you have. You begin to live in fear of the next explosion. You begin to cower whenever the abuser is in the room. You pick and choose your words carefully. It has been called "walking on egg shells, but I think it is more like "walking on thin layer of ice," that can crack open at any moment.

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