Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Ten Commitments (Commandments) for Marriage - Ian C. Howe

Every married person appears to be an expert on marriage. They are ready to offer advice and help. But have a look at some beautiful things that can really bring your marriage to life. Marriage is a two-way affair, but each partner can go a long way by doing their part and not blaming the other. Here are ten commitments of marriage. You can add yours below.

I. “Thou shalt have no other human being before your husband or your wife.” ~ No other human being should come before your spouse – neither father nor mother, son nor daughter, brother nor sister nor other family member, employer nor employee, friend nor foe. Always seek to put each other first above any other person on earth.

II. “Thou shalt put nothing before your husband or wife.” ~ No material things or emotional feelings that belong to this wicked world should ever come before your spouse. Whether house, work, car, pleasures, desires, money, fame, or animal, absolutely nothing!” Avoid making these things into idols or addictions, as they will rise above your spouse, and their distraction can be destructive to your marriage.
III. “Thou shalt not belittle, criticize or find fault, but rather encourage your spouse in all ways.” ~ Honor each other with helpful deeds, sincere compliments, encouraging words, and positive thoughts; be consistent and persistent in your adulation towards your spouse. If any constructive criticism must be done, it should be done with as much positivity and love as possible. Both should take any difficult situations to GOD in prayer. Hold Him as the focal point of the marriage, make Him the third cord, only His manifold wisdom can unravel the mysteries of a successful marriage

IV. “Thou shalt remember her/his day, to keep it special.” ~ Quality time should be set aside for your spouse, even at the expense of other important activities. Celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions. Your spouse and your children are worthy of your time and your undivided attention.

V. “Thou shalt give honor not only to your father and mother, but to those who become your father-in-law and mother-in-law.” ~ As you two become one, you marry into another family. Wise is the husband or wife who does not take it upon himself or herself to find fault with those who are related to their spouse.

VI. “Thou shalt not destroy the spirit within your spouse.” ~ Husbands, do not destroy your bride’s dreams and hopes for the future which she now places in your hands, support and encourage her in her ambitions. The wife has the ingrained ability, and naturally desires to support you in your vision, and if it is grand enough, she will joyfully sacrifice hers, to become an active part of yours, but its her decision to make, not yours. Ideally, if both have entwined dreams the process becomes simplified, unfortunately its not always so easy. Most of a man’s earthly happiness depends upon his wife, therefore a woman can make a man most happy or most miserable, so wife, choose wisely your attitude towards your husband. Both of you must honor and build up the personhood of the other.

VII. “Thou shalt give your passions only to each other, not to another.” ~ You should not give away your passions to another in word, in thought, or in deed. This person beside whom you stand on your wedding day is to be your lover, as well as your helpmate and your best friend.

VIII. “Husband, steal not from your wife that which is her privilege to give. Wife, receive what he gives to you with gratitude and appreciation.” ~ The spirit of gratitude can greatly bless a home. If your minds are filled with thoughts of gratitude, and if you look on with satisfaction at what you have, and NOT with cravaciousness at what you do not have, you will be blessed. Nothing is more destructive than ingratitude towards each other, show appreciation till it hurts.

IX. “Thou shalt not bear false witness to each other.” ~ Be honest with each other. Dishonesty and an unwillingness to talk through differences will build a silent wall which is not easily dismantled. The real self, then, refuses to be disclosed, and a couple may gradually begin to drift apart into oblivion. Be open with issues and situations that negatively impact you, even if it may make you uncomfortable. The result of this communicative approach is the development of a bond of trust between each other.

X. “Thou shalt not seek greener pastures, whether they be those things physical or material.” ~ Do not engage in selfish fantasies of lacking fetishes or unacquired riches that may have been possible if married to someone else, this leads to all the negative effects of the Third Commitment. Be content with the one whom GOD has given to you, and GOD will bless your lives together

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