Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Something to Smile About - Barton Goldsmith

Every day I am on a mission to find something that will make my partner smile. Sometimes it’s the easy fallback of taking her out to dinner; other evenings I’ll light the fire and tell her an amusing story. On days when I have no time or energy, I might pick a flower from the yard and leave it on her nightstand.

The point is that it doesn’t matter what I do or give. The idea is to bring a smile to her face, for when she’s happy, I’m happy. In fact, the argument could be made that I do these things for myself because I reap the benefit.

Perhaps it’s the cup of coffee that your mate brings you in the morning, so you can stay in bed a few minutes longer, or maybe the love of your life senses when you’ve had a long day and makes dinner for you. Some people come home with a bouquet of flowers, and others bring things they know their partners want or need. It usually doesn’t take much to make someone feel loved.

Your partner will truly appreciate your taking the time to make his or her day a little bit more special. Taking this time can breathe new life into a tired relationship.

Remember, it’s the thought that counts, and in this case, small and cheap, or even free, is just fine. You don’t have to sell the farm to make your point. Showing that you care shouldn’t cost you. If you do these small things well, it will make the big and difficult things much easier to deal with.
If these small gestures are something you’d like more of in your relationship, let your partner know. Don’t expect your mate to read your mind. If you’re unsure of how to start the process, just hand him or her this chapter. You can make up the rules as you go along.

Knowing that the light of your life is thinking of you when he or she is running errands, dealing with the kids, or trying to keep the boss happy can make you feel really loved. That emotion is what makes us get up in the morning to do it all over again.

If you don’t have a desire to do little things to make your partner smile, there may be some resentment that I’d encourage you to take a look at. This isn’t meant to be a burden. It’s just one of those little things that keeps the heart fires burning.

Here are some tips for a successful scavenger hunt.

Suggest to your partner that you take turns spending a week doing one little thing a day for each other. Then talk about what it was like for both of you. Consider making it a regular thing.

Find that little thing your partner lost or couldn’t locate any- where and bring it to her or him

Do the manly-man thing or the girly-girl thing. Many men say I love you by washing their mate’s car and filling it with gas. To reciprocate, taking your man to a game, concert, or movie that he really wants to see is a great way to show your love.

Adapted from Emotional Fitness for Intimacy

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