Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Top 10 Things Not to Say to Your Wife - Bethany Brittenham

If you have been in a relationship more than 5 minutes, then I’m sure you’ve experienced this:

"I can’t believe you just said that!”

So, in an attempt to help all you men out there, I thought I would share my personal top ten phrases you may not want to say to your wife:


10. I like my mom’s cooking better.

9. I can only see your mustache in the sunlight.

8. Are you sure that guy was whistling at you?

7. You think that mirror makes your hips look wider? Funny, it doesn’t do that to me.

6. Your head is shaped like a hot dog.

5. You’re not going out looking like that, are you?

4. You’re acting just like your mother.

3. You don’t get an opinion, you haven’t had a real job.

2. I like your fat stomach (or any other part of your body).

1. Do you know why men wouldn’t find you attractive in any other country? You just don’t have wide enough hips to be attractive.

What makes this list funny is the fact that men have actually said these things to the women they love. All of these have reasons behind why it was said, but that doesn’t change the fact that men can say very stupid things sometimes. Women? No, never.

Any relationship will have moments of stupidity in them. You will say something hurtful to the one you love the most. You will offend them. You might even make them cry. But what happens after the comment is said defines what your relationship is made of.

Can you look at these moments and laugh? Or do you go into a rage like the Hulk?

Reactions can change the tone of a relationship. It would have caused conflict if I were to respond to my husband with:

How dare you! You’re fatter than me!” Or “You don’t get to answer, ‘cause you’re an idiot.” (Not that I would ever respond like this. Insert sarcasm)

As a newly married couple, James and I were testing the boundaries of what was okay to say to each other. Some jokes often went too far, and we learned what our “limits” were. We learned a lot within our first couple of years being married to each other. We learned that these ridiculous comments meant no harm. By our reactions to each other (an initial death glare, eye roll, and eventually laughter) James and I built a sense of trust. We learned we could make a mistake and we would still love each other. Even though we would say absurd things to each other, we had a bond and we were in it together no matter what.

When you choose forgiveness, you create a bond that can eventually melt any hurt away. Plus, you will be forever armed with reasons he needs to buy you that 10 year anniversary diamond ring.

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).

Being slow to anger and a sense of humor is key in any relationship. You have to be able to laugh together, and sometimes even at each other. But there comes a time when you need to hold your tongue as well. Words can never be taken back and they can tend to stick to the bones of the hurt. One of the most important lessons a couple can learn is to speak words of life into each other. Find things to compliment each other on. Flirt, be silly, and enjoy each other. Don’t forget to find the humor in your relationship. It will get you through even the hardest of times. And never say anything on that list. Ever.

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