Saturday, June 8, 2013

Letter To My Child - From A Trying To Conceive Husband

My child,

It's just over 31 months since that day I took the stroll down the aisle with your mummy and said our vows before God and man. Since that day, we have been waiting expectantly for you. Sometimes we wonder what is taking you so long. Sometimes we imagine its taking so long because you must be very special. Most times our hearts have remained undoubtedly sure that your coming is very close, and in fact closer than we think. But then, you do not need to keep us waiting anymore.

But don’t think we have not done our fair share of things that are believed will make you come quickly. I have been severally tested and found to be perfect, having millions of you inside me. Mummy has been severally tested too and everything is in place, no cysts, no fibroids. And we have sown seeds too, financially and otherwise. We have invested in other children and continue to do so. We have followed plethora of advice on what and what not to do. We have not allowed our expectations to metamorphose into anxiety… yet you are yet to come.

And you know what? Mummy needs you! There is just something about African culture and the African woman that has made having you a certificate of completeness. You are the very person she needs right now. She has God, she has me, but she needs you to balance the equation. She has heard how discomfiting pregnancy can be... and how much more painful labour is too. But I can tell you that she is ready to go through all of that and more just to have you. Mummy G that has a 3yr-old and a 2yr-old just gave birth another 2 months ago. Mummy T that has a 2yr+ old is already carrying another. These people live in the same compound with mummy. Infact, your uncle and aunty that married after your mummy and daddy already hold their children in their hands. Granddaddy and Grandmummy are not putting mummy under pressure. They call her from time to time to encourage her to be patient. My siblings and hers do the same too. But little by little, mummy is beginning to put herself under pressure. I am doing everything I can to help her, but I need you to help me.

And don’t think that I don’t want you too! I want you with the last drop of my blood. I love you so much my heart literally aches sometimes. Children’s day was celebrated yesterday in church and it was beautiful. My eyes were flooded with tears to see so many lovely children showcasing their talents. I know that if you were here, you would have been one of the best! Anyway, I bought some gifts for children that are needy on your behalf; so know that your name is already recorded in church! 

Today is Children's Day. If you were here, I would have taken the day off work to have fun with you at Inspiration FM’s Children Day’s Carnival at Dreamworld Africana. We would have had many lovely rides and yummy ice cream together, and I would have been overwhelmed just to hear you laugh. Nothing can describe how I would feel just to hold you in my arms knowing that you are my seed become flesh.

Please do not heed all the bad news on the airwaves and think the world is bad place. Do not listen to statistics that show that Nigeria is uninhabitable. We have sworn to do all we can to make the world a beautiful place for you. You will meet many challenges, but most importantly, you would have been prepared to overcome them.

I have to stop now because am in the office and my eyes are teary again. My boss just asked what’s wrong my eyes (lol) so I have to run before they find I have been crying. But am not ashamed to cry if it will make you come quickly. I know that we will surmount any mountain to finally have you in our arms… it’s just that waiting can be so hard sometimes. 

We love you as no other human can ever and will ever do.

From the best Dad you could ever have,

M

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