Monday, June 3, 2013

Momfessions - Cheeky Parenting Shortcuts

Before I had my daughter I used to ask! What's up with all these lazy women that buy Indomie noodles in cartons? Una no Sabi cook? Now I know better!

I remember this time, I hadn't slept for almost two nights because my daughter wasn't feeling well and had just finished giving her a bath and was rocking her to bed when she  did a massive, yellow seedy number2 that seeped into the 10 minute old bodysuit, I was way too tired to start scraping poo and washing and washing and washing some more. So you know what I did? I gave her a bath and put the body suit and socks in a bag, tied it and threw it straight into the bin! I can't shout!

So ladies and gentlemen, for fun of it, I have chosen to share with you some cheeky shortcuts other Mums have confessed to taking.

"My little man is a year old and I do cheat with his meals, breakfast is easy - it's cereal but for lunch, he has those jars from the supermarket so he can have more variety (that's my excuse, and I'm sticking by it)"

"I plait my daughters hair once a week (don't try to know what the style is supposed to be on a Friday)"

"Over here in Naija when I had my 1st about 20 years ago, terry cloth napkins was what we were using and then, the ``right thing`` to do was to rinse off poop from the napkins, soak in cool water with antiseptic before washing either by hand or washing machine. As for me, I always took the shortcut, threw the yuck smelly napkin into the machine(after all it can't talk can it? ) and set it for rinse before washing with 100 degrees hot wash and guess what they always came out brilliant clean/white and my ever critical mom even praised my neat parenting skills!" 

"On school nights, Instead of one by one bath time, put everybody in the jacuzzi including moi and everybody's bath is done at a time without hassle"

"Bathing your newborns in the kitchen or bathroom sink. You don't need all the acrobatics of gathering things together.You don't have to sit and bend and stretch and twist and turn.You just put your water in with your Johnson's body wash,stand straight and bath the child with a wash cloth wrap them in a towel and voila, Especially for those outside Nigeria with cold temperatures, it is a quick and easy bath and you take them to the bed or changing table and dress them up.
After the first baby, I never bought a baby bath again,I got them as gifts sha but barely used them
They went from the sinks to the regular bath tub. Hubby was shocked the first time he saw me do it but he warmed up to it. Of course if your mother or MIL is coming for omugwo,you need the baby bath my baby bath was last used when my mum left. My mum used to do baby bathing like World War III where you are gathering weapons."

"For potty training,the method that works the quickest is making the child feel guilty. I know we don't want to hurt their little feelings but I did and it worked. For my last born,I potty trained him in a flash,I wish I did same with the earlier ones. I went to the store and he picked his favorite character underwear Spongebob undies. So we came home and I went through the whole story of how he is now a big boy and must pee pee like a man now and he was so happy he was now a man
Then here comes to guilt part 
I said Nnamdi,now that you are a man and you love Spongebob ,the worst thing you can do now is to make him wet,he does not like to feel wet
So anytime you pee pee on yourself,you pee pee on Spongebob you are wetting him and it is not right to make him wet. So you must tell someone before the pee pee or poo poo comes out
So the kid did all he could to keep Spongebob dry and would be so proud of himself when he did it and felt sad when he got Spongebob wet or stinky. In a few days he was only wearing pull ups at night and before we knew it,he was totally trained.I still laugh at the announcements "Mommy daddy the pee pee is about to come out And we all happily take him to the toilet He didn't even use a potty,he went straight to the regular toilet seat"

"Thank God for online shopping. Now I don't go shopping with her, and so she cant cajole me into buying barbie dolls or sweets." 

"When my baby was much younger, I was always so scared to use the nail cutter on her cos those fingers were so tiny. I usually take her to my mum's over the weekend to have them cut, but her nails grow pretty fast cos of milk calcium I guess. So, during the week I may need to have them cut, and once I try using a nail cutter and I don't succeed, I just bite them off with my teeth.  Now that she's older (almost 2), I see her trying to bite her nails off when they grow. I feel guilty when I try to make her stop cos I'm sure she must have learnt it from me (and may be from the older kids at school too)."

"My 2-year-old loves to read and will ask to read to first thing in the morning if he sees the books still out. I have started hiding the books in the morning so he will just leave me alone for a little while and let me drink my coffee."

"My friends wonder how I lost the baby weight. The fact is that every time I go to sit down to eat, one of my three kids falls from a chair, requests something, starts fighting, spills their drink or is having some form of a mental breakdown. I wish I could enjoy just one meal. Maybe if I just start serving it on the floor like you do for animals…"

It is tough juggling family and work when the kids are young. Don't stress out over the things you couldn't get done,the heavens will not fall. You couldn't do the dishes at night,do them in the morning. You fed them cereal for dinner and so what,they will still grow up healthy the good news is that they eventually grow up and you wonder how the time flew.enjoy them now,take lots and lots of pictures.

 Find time to play .Its good if you have a supportive husband that helps out, many  men don't do that.Your kids will remember the things you did with them not what you bought for them. They will remember when you taught them to ride a bike,roller skate,play ball,they will remember feeding the ducks by the lake or going to the library to read. They will remember the road trips and the amusement park.They will remember the story telling time while you all snuggled up in a blanket. They will not care anything about the designer shoes and dresses and expensive toys.

Ijeoma Olujekun

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