Wednesday, July 10, 2013

I Can't Take This Anymore! I'm getting A Puppy!!!

I can't take this anymore! I’m getting a puppy!!! Apparently this chick in my hostel was so tired of her relationship that she felt she would rather have a puppy than remain in that relationship and be frustrated and unhappy. I must say, I feel pretty sorry for the guy whose company has been forfeited for that of not just another man, but another species.

We've all come across those ladies or gentlemen who are forever chanting men are terrible, ladies are shallow, all men are cheats, all men are all sorts of things I cannot type on a Christian blog…

It is sad.

We have all felt let down by other people at some point in our lives. This is only exasperated by having unreasonable expectations and the belief that by those expectations being met they would somehow enhance enhance our lives.

I’ve been there, so I know that many of these expectations are often unreasonable. For one or more of the following reasons: 
1) I knew what I expected, but no one else knew or reasonably could have known;
2) I didn’t know what I expected, but I assumed I did
3) I expected things that conflicted with each other; or 
4) I expected too much.

While I was dating this ex of mine I expected him to be a stand-in for my parents. My dad was late and my mum was very far away. I craved that sense of security related to having them. And subconsciously, I was looking for someone to fill their shoes. He was the ideal candidate. He was around. He seemed interested in my welfare. And he happened to be naturally good at exactly the kind of things I was looking for at the time. So, I looked to him to fill the role of parental-figure in my life (yes, I had a lot of growing up to do).

I expected him to fill other roles as well. I wanted him to be there for me the way my sisters were. I wanted him to be there for me the way my girlfriends were. I expected him to mentor me regarding many aspects of my life. Be my bestie who would accompany me to 15 shops and then start all over again to find the perfect shoes (and admire all the others) at the best price. And be my world…


”Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed,” -Alexander Pope. 


We must get to a point in their lives where we examine our expectations and do some house cleaning.

Working with a smaller set of clearly defined and reasonable expectations is so much easier for you, your spouse and everyone else in your life. First, there is less to feel let down about. Second, the people in your life meet your reasonable expectations easily. So you feel let down much less.

When you do feel let down, ask yourself whether you are being reasonable. If the answer is no, please let it go, and don't feel bad for much longer. If the answer is yes, and the issue matters enough (it doesn't always), deal with it in whatever way is appropriate. Then, forgive. Then move on in peace and not in pieces.

Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help. (Psalm 146:3)

By Ijeoma Olujekun

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