The author says that when a child believes he is bad, he behaves badly—and parents react badly, which will only reinforce the child's belief that he is bad. But confident parents can break this cycle and improve their child's misbehaviour.. Bonnie Harris offers eight parenting principles designed to help children succeed. Parents will learn the following truths:
- my child wants to be successful
- behavior is the signal to my child's emotional state
- inappropriate behavior means my child is having a problem, not being a problem
- my needs are no more or no less important than my child's
- I accept my child as a competent and unique individual
- the behavior I focus on grows
- I need to say what my child can hear
- good discipline requires connection
Most parenting books fail to take into consideration the child's point of view. This book nails that piece into place with wisdom, compassion and conviction. We need to stop seeing parenting as something that parents endure, perform well, or struggle with and start taking into account that parenting implies relationship, not a set of hard and fast rules that little people better follow or else. Bonnie Harris comes across as a powerful voice of reason in this respect. She emphasizes an attachment parenting philosophy, but without losing sight of the importance of parental authority and respect.
This book also offers the perfect balance of mercy and justice. The recommended discipline approach is logical consequences. But, the book's primary focus is on problem-solving between parent and child. When that's done, the need to impose consequences is minimized.
I'm one of those people who love reading all sorts of different parenting philosophies, to learn about new ways of parenting. This is such a great book. How I wish I could be like this ALL of the time. Do get it, i'm sure you will be glad you did.
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