Monday, September 9, 2013

Giving Husband Priviledges To Boyfriends



"In dating relationships, most women often confuse the role of a boyfriend with that of a husband. Expectations from relationships are natural but what isn't natural is having many women expecting husband privileges from men they simply deem as boyfriends.

Many women expect husband privileges from boyfriends because they give husband privileges to their boyfriends in hopes of securing a long-term relationship with the possibility of marriage. I consider this a major mistake. Giving husband privileges to boyfriends and expecting husband privileges in return takes away the fun in a dating relationship and places unnecessary pressure on both parties involved."

I came across the article Confusing the Boyfriend Role with That of A Husband by Flaubert Ajiero that got me thinking .

I have reservations towards what his definition of husband is, but that isn't my focus right now. This reminded me of what a certain 48 –year-old unmarried man said when he was asked why he wasn’t married. He was in a relationship with a lady for 5 years but she moved on when there was no talk of marriage. He says marriage never really crossed his mind because they were so happy and they were together all the time. They traveled together, she practically lived in his house, cooked, cleaned etc. I was like...

“ Hey, you didn’t think of marriage because you felt like you already were married but without the responsibilities. Best of both worlds”

Ladies listen up!! I know you can't wait to display all your culinary and house keeping skills, I know you are proud of your ability to make a man salivate at the sight of your soups; but If you become too available you leave no room for the mystery that men love so much. If he like you he will want your company,that is natural but you have to define the boundaries and guard your emotions in order for you to not loose yourself. If you spend 5 years of your youth with a person who walks away feeling he has seen everything there is to see and done everything there is to do, you will have yourself to blame.

I am not implying that you play games of hard to get but it is in your best interest to maintain the mystery, your respect and protect your dignity. Don’t become his maid, or his booty call it does not increase your bargaining power. Work on yourself, fortify your relationship with God discover what He expects from you as a person then as a wife. Get to know a guy for who he is, before you force the hand or the relationship to be more serious than it should be. If any man wants you around 24/7 he should put a ring on it and trust me, if he is Mr. Right, he will.

By Ijeoma Olujekun

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