Sunday, October 13, 2013

No matter what, I'd still prefer a couple sleeping on the same bed rather than separate beds

Picture from: Sleepworks.com
In the premarital counseling classes that I hold in my church, I do advocate and promote that couples sleep on the same bed rather than separate beds.

Now mind you, they are many reasons that married couples offer for keeping separate beds or even separate rooms. Some of them are listed below:

  • The wife should be in a separate bed in a separate room to take care of the sucking child so that the head of the house is not disturbed; 
  • The bed is too small for two of us;
  • I like to have some space for myself where I can be by myself;
  • I can't sleep in the same room because my husband snores;
  • The Temperature of the room. One partner loves to sleep with the air-conditioner on while the other does not;
  • Tossing and turning of one partner;
  • The firmness of the bed;
  • Different times for going to bed;
  • And many more....
Here are my reason for saying that couples should sleep on the same bed
  1. Sleeping together encourages "spooning". This is the sleeping position where people sleep nested together like spoons. This sleeping position is believed to increase intimacy and lower stress.
  2. It can reduce the time for settling quarrels. I do believe that couples that have had bitter arguments and are not on speaking terms would resolve the conflicts faster if they have to sleep on the same bed.
  3. It helps with communication. For some couples, lying on the same bed before both parties dose off, can be the only time they have to talk. This is when they actually communicate.
  4. Children are supposed to have their own rooms so they should NOT be as a reason for having separate beds
  5. Let's face it. Couples are much less likely to have spontaneous sex if they are not sleeping together. And the fact that a man has to go to his wife's room, knock on the door before making love to his wife kills the spontaneity and excitement.
  6. I do believe that sleeping together can actually reinforce good sleep habits. Partners who sleep together can be a positive influence when it comes to keeping reasonable bedtimes, and not falling asleep to the television.
Call me traditional but I firmly believe in a couple sleeping together on one bed. 

However there are exceptions to this rule. I do agree on the importance of good quality sleep. Poor quality sleep and insufficient sleep can negatively affect mood and judgment. If there is a very severe case of snoring that is affecting the other partner, I think separate rooms might be the last resort.

I sincerely think that couples should strive ensure they discuss and work out what will be the best for the parties concerned - man and wife

What do you think?

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