Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Learn to LOVE the OTHER Woman in YOUR man's life

You were walking down the street to the bus stop on that fateful day, he drove past, hit the brakes, reversed and tried to talk to you. You did not glance at him for one second, you are definitely not going to be treated like a ride for the night. He parked his car, walked up to you and managed to get your number. Fast-forward>>>> Months later, you are madly in love. When you least expect it, he goes on one knee and pops the question you've always wanted to hear. It is magical, the best moment of your life yet and you can't wait to start planning your big day. Then it hits you; there is another woman in his life and she is not exactly the type that has any plans of disappearing or letting her strings on 'her man' too loose too soon.....She's called the Mother-in-law.

She may be the type that scrutinizes your every move and assesses your culinary skills whenever she comes to visit or you may lucky to have the type that barely comes to visit because she is busy travelling around the world with HER MAN and really has no time to keep tabs on yours. Whatever the case, mothers-in-law can either be a joy or a nightmare but believe me when I say the ball is in your court.

No one should expect you to fall in love with your mother-in-law at first sight. It is almost impossible! She was never a part of your life until you decided to marry her son, she wasn't there when you took your first steps, when you went off to college, you had no idea you'd meet her, when you were down and blue, she was nowhere close by so it is understandable that you may have your reservations the first time. While she might be scrutinizing you for faults, you are scrutinizing her for weak spots that you can take advantage of in order to get into her good books.

Sometimes, loving your mother-in-law needs a little more effort than necessary. She might be cynical, critical and downright annoying but pay no attention to that. Your marriage should not be a power tussle between you and her. Instead of drawing the battle line, fill your marriage with hugs and kisses! Yes, some mothers-in-law are difficult to live with, which is why you should not live with her and you should make your husband understand this! When she comes to visit however, warmth and a nice home-cooked meal can go  a long way. She might wrinkle her nose and tell you the chicken could have stayed in the oven longer, the stew is not spicy enough or the chilli flakes in your tacos will hurt her son's health. Bear it with a smile and ask for her recipes rather than throw a tantrum. Remember, she may not consider you good enough for her son,
(when you have your son, you'll understand why some mothers tend to feel this way, even if the wife is an angel created specially for their son) but always show her the love and respect she deserves.

I told a friend of mine recently that I do not want a mother-in-law, I want another mother. Give her the same level of respect you'd give your mother, pray with her, let her say grace at the dinner table when she is spending some time with you and of course, shower her with gifts you can afford (I am yet to meet anyone that hates someone bearing gifts, warmth and joy). Your husband can leave his father and mother and cleave to you all he wants but remember his mother is a part of him! If you love him, learn to love her too. Love trumps hate any day, any time!

This post is directed at brides, brides-to-be and hopeful brides-to-be. Dear mother-in-law, I am working on a post for you *wink* xoxo


Monday, January 27, 2014

A Cry for HELP!!!!

I have heard so many stories of domestic violence, listened to friends in abusive relationships and even watched some of them as they were emotionally abused and treated like toddlers by their partners. I spent some time wondering what it was exactly that drove men and women to be abusive and really, I struggled to find an answer.

Why on earth would anyone think it's ok to marry a bubbly single lady and beat her to a pulp? Why would a woman think it's ok to talk her husband down simply because she earns more money or has a higher university qualification? Why on earth would any man think it is ok to marry a woman, deprive her of her rights as a wife, turn her into a maid that has to prepare his meals fresh every single evening because he is not the type to eat anything that has been in the freezer and warmed up in a microwave? What exactly pushes people to the point of abuse? These were questions that plagued me over the weekend and I found some answers through discussions with friends that have experienced first hand abuse. one thing they all had in common to say was "ABUSERS NEED HELP!"

You might raise your eyebrows and think "HUH???!!!" but really, it is true. Many abusers need help. they abuse people because they don't know any better!


Friday, January 24, 2014

Sexual Responsibilities In Marriages

Sex is a delicate subject to approach and people tend to walk on eggs around it during discussions. It is a very vital part of a marriage and thus should be paid proper attention. The bible affirms the importance of sex in marriages when in his letter to the people of Corinthians, Apostle Paul said the wife has no power of her own body neither does the husband have power of his own body. This means that the husband cannot deny his wife of sex and same also applies to the wife.

 Sexual preference varies from one person to the other. Preference in this context is used to describe what and how an individual enjoys having sex. Bearing this in mind, all cards need to be laid on the table between husbands and wives. The husband should keep his wife satisfied and the wife should do the same too. This is the first form of sexual responsibility in marriages. To achieve this, communication is key. Couples should discuss among themselves what works and what doesn’t work. The woman also has to bear in mind that sex is not a weapon she uses on her husband. It is wrong to use sex to manipulate one’s partner. I know people that think oral sex is dirty and I wonder what will happen if their partners enjoy it. I agree some sexual practises are very controversial but in whatever situation you find yourself, make sure you discuss with your partner and find a place in the middle to meet. Partners with dissatisfied sex lives tend to cheat more.

This brings me to CONTROL which is another form of sexual responsibility. Couples need to respect the matrimonial union by not having any form of sexual encounter with anyone else outside the marriage.  Adultery is not just a betrayal to one’s partner but it is also a great sin. Nothing can excuse infidelity. Faithfulness is the key to having a healthy relationship. If there is any issue, talk about it as earlier discussed. See a counsellor if you have to. Pray to God for control.

Couples need to appreciate the importance of planning. Family planning is also a form of sexual responsibility. Pregnancy is the natural result of sex and while it is a beautiful thing, there are situations when it can be viewed as unwanted even when it is between married couples. This could be because of other commitments such as growing a business or going back to school or could simply be because of money constraints. Abortion is not a choice because going by the bible, a foetus is human   ‘...Before I formed you in the womb I knew you and before you were born I consecrated you...’ Killing a foetus will mean killing another human. To avoid unwanted pregnancies, family planning should be adequately discussed between couples; the issue of how many kids they want to have and how to space them. There are a number of measures that can be taken. See your doctor to know the one that best suits you.

Always bear in mind that sex comes with its consequences and in order to have a healthy marriage, sexual responsibility is crucial.


Wednesday, January 22, 2014

O Woman! Curb thy tongue!!!

I was spending some time with a friend who seized the opportunity that I was free for lunch to moan and groan about his girlfriend and how he could not stand her tongue lashing. As much as I would have preferred to spend the afternnon talking about the weather or discussing short and long term goals, the discussion struck a chord in my heart.

I remembered the many times, when I was younger, that people told me I talk too much, and some even went as far as knowingly giving me gifts in the form of books such as "me and my big mouth" by Joyce Meyer and "The power of a woman's words" by Sharon Jaynes. Being the venomous talker that I was, I did not hesitate to tell them to get off my friendship wagon and combust if they could, I did not care...well, that was until i actually read those books and i started to pray for God to put a sieve between my brain and my mouth.

Women are known by most men for nagging! We can talk and talk until the statue of liberty angrily climbs off its pedestal to tell us to SHUSH!!! We complain, we nag, we murmur, we gossip, we judge every Sally, Jennifer and Kimberley but worst of all, we use our words to hurt. Some of us hurt our parents, we hurt our friends, we hurt our husbands, children, colleagues... and it seems there is no end in sight. Some of us like to call it brutal honesty... welcome to my under-21 club. Before you get too comfortable, may I ask who you are kidding?

The Moving Story Behind The Famous hymn: "It is well with my soul"

I never imagined this famous hymnal had such a prolific story behind it.

God is active in the lives of His children who seek Him with a humble and a contrite spirit. While Horatio Spafford endured devastating tragedy, in the midst of serious personal sorrow, God brought him to a place of peace and security wholly independent of his circumstances. He birthed this timeless song...Surely, it is well with our souls... 

The Case Of The Unseen Wife And The Discreet Husband

There are times I find myself caught in a dilemma when my opinion is sought because the truth sometimes seem too harsh to tell. Times like that I just listen and learn and hope my listening ears will be as consoling as the soothing words (I should have said). I found myself in one of such situations recently. Someone complained to me that  she feels like the unseen wife of her husband.

The average woman is a romantic and her happiness is rooted in the knowledge that her man is proud of her among other things.  Mental admiration is as desirable as physical admiration; we like to be showed off and for our praises to be sung by the one that has chosen us and the one we have chosen. Nothing gladdens a woman’s heart like knowing her chief cheerleader is her man. If one asks the average girl on the street to paint a picture of the kind of relationship she desires, one will get lots of fairy tale like pictures but reality is so far from this.

There are no two relationships alike but there are situations that might look the same. One would want to know the height of discreetness in a relationship and also whether it is alright for one’s man to be discreet about one’s relationship especially marriage. See, I find this topic interesting because I am one of the protagonists of discreet relationships. Nobody wants to know ‘your boo’ made dinner*eyes rolling*. I remember how surprised some people I know were when I told them I was getting married, most didn’t even know I was in a relationship(that’s gist for another day).

 On another note, I think it has lots of disadvantages; many things could go wrong in the name of being discreet. One can only speak for oneself. God forbid bad things happen to his own but much as I don’t like echoing what others say about cheating being in a man’s DNA , one also has to be careful. We are in the days when even married men are desirable for the loads of single women out there (We bind the spirit of Jezebels. :) ). Who is to stand on a rooftop and shout that he has been showered blessings if not a man in love? God forbid the day my husband will say ‘hey babe, I can’t use you as my dp anymore’

Being the champion of women’s causes, no man should be allowed to be discreet about their relationships, it is too comfortable. Women can be though, we are the ever faithful half (don’t take me up on this one). Seriously now, I would like to state that discreetness can be mistaken and one’s partner might think one is not proud of him/her. There is also the case of unfaithfulness. I wouldn’t erase the fact that some people are very private about the things that go on in their lives and wouldn’t want their business being out there.

We all have interesting reasons for doing the things we do but whatever it is we do, we must do them for the right reasons. Also, we should keep our minds out of the gutters. Never imagine the worst in situations. As couples, we should always talk about things we love and vice versa. We need to always be open-minded about things; relationships need to be worked on constantly.

Understand your partner.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Wives Are Not Synonymous To Maids

I listened as a friend shared with me the story of her dad that cannot eat stew unless it is made from stone grounded pepper. I also know of another man that remembers he would love a meal of homemade moin moin and pap in the middle of the night when every other person is preparing to sleep. If you have got some time, I could tell you of a man who nags his wife for meals after ten minutes of making his demands. See, I can go on and on about what I have termed unfair demands of ‘some’ husbands and it doesn’t stop with preparation of food alone.

I find myself asking (whoever resides in my head) whose world it is anyway. I used to be very quick to tell anyone that wanted to hear about all my equality ideas (trust me; I have a load of fancy ones). You can imagine my excitement when I saw the video of those two men that were made to feel labour pains. I am not about to delve into the issue of the battle of the sexes but I’ll love to highlight some points that we sometimes overlook. Going through that post on the wife that DOESN'T WORK further fuelled the need for me to write on the imbalance that has plagued our society.

One would naturally want to know who the more superior of the two sexes is. That can be argued from both ends but this is not a post championing the cause of either of the two sides. Going by the bible, a woman and a man are both created in God’s image but when one reads further into chapter 3 of the book of Genesis, it can be said that sin changed that and it was stated that ‘...Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you’. 

Saturday, January 18, 2014

7 Crippling Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders - (Forbes)


Nice to share with you...this is by Kathy Caprino, a contributor to Forbes..Enjoy

While I spend my professional time now as a career success coach, writer, and leadership trainer, I was a marriage and family therapist in my past, and worked for several years with couples, families, and children. Through that experience, I witnessed a very wide array of both functional and dysfunctional parenting behaviors. As a parent myself, I’ve learned that all the wisdom and love in the world doesn’t necessarily protect you from parenting in ways that hold your children back from thriving, gaining independence and becoming the leaders they have the potential to be.

I was intrigued, then, to catch up with leadership expert Dr. Tim Elmore and learn more about how we as parents are failing our children today — coddling and crippling them — and keeping them from becoming leaders they are destined to be. Tim is a best-selling author of more than 25 books, including Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future,Artificial Maturity: Helping Kids Meet the Challenges of Becoming Authentic Adults, and the Habitudes® series. He is Founder and President of Growing Leaders, an organization dedicated to mentoring today’s young people to become the leaders of tomorrow.

Tim had this to share about the 7 damaging parenting behaviors that keep children from becoming leaders – of their own lives and of the world’s enterprises:

Friday, January 17, 2014

Have they changed or are you just bitter?

Success is something we all yearn for. For most of us, it is the peak of life's journey- to be successful in our chosen careers, ministry, marriage and so on. But what happens when some of us involuntarily fall behind in this race for success? What happens when it seems everyone is moving at the speed of light towards this peak of life's journey and we seem to be moving at snail pace? 

What kind of thoughts do you entertain towards that friend of yours that walked down the aisle while you walked down the "single and heartbroken" lane? What kinds of thoughts cross your heart when your friend announces she is pregnant and looking forward to parenthood with her spouse while you are yet to even meet one man that is willing to spend six months of his life with you?

What kinds of thoughts cross your mind when your friend shows up in his brand new car and you are still asking people to push your jalopy ride down the road just so it can start? Does it irritate you when it seems your friend can afford everything and is not in any way considerate of your feelings?

Have your friends changed or are you entertaining bitterness and resentment? I once read a post on Facebook where a lady complained about how her friends had changed as soon as they got better jobs and new cars. I smiled at her complaint; I have been there before and I am grateful I let God annihilate the bitterness in me.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Help!! My Wife DOES NOT WORK

A friend of mine sent this piece and I felt I should share it with you. It goes to show that as men, we need to be appreciative of our wives and really see it as it truly is.

My Wife DOES NOT WORK.

Conversation between a Husband (H) and a Psychologist (P):
P : What do you do for a living Mr. Bandy?
H : I work as an Accountant in... a Bank.
P : Your Wife ?
H : She doesn't work. She's a Housewife only.
P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the morning?
H : My Wife, because she doesn't work.
P : At what time does your wife wake up for making breakfast?
H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she cleans the house first before making breakfast.
P : How do your kids go to school?
H : My wife takes them to school, because she doesn't work.
P : After taking your kids to school, what does she do?
H : She goes to the market, then goes back home for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn't work. 
P : In the evening, after you go back home from office, what do you do?
H : Take rest, because i'm tired due to all day works.
P : What does your wife do then?
H : She prepares meals, serving our kids, preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes, cleaning the house then taking kids to bed. Whom do you think works more, from the story above??? The daily routines of your wives commence from early morning to late night. That is called 'DOESN'T WORK'??!!

Develop Your Selective Memory

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received before I got married was “To have a good marriage, you have to have a selective memory” and many of us do. Unfortunately, we seem to select the wrong things.

On Sunday, when my pastor talked about building alters he reminded me that so many times we worship at the altar of Satan, the altar of negativity becomes our go-to hang out spot, that altar of things gone wrong, of offence of the total and reoccurring recall of the fury you felt that time when you were talking (nagging) to hubby and he didn't even turn away from the football match only for him to suddenly lower his head and hold it in his hands in misery, but before you could even feel the elation of your words finally getting to him, you notice the distant but distinctive “Oh no” from his fellow football fanatics in other homes, then it hits you, he hadn't finally realized how bad he should feel that he hasn't listened to you all this while, he wasn't holding his head in dismay at the fact that your words had turned on the imaginary light bulb in his head, No.  His team just missed the goal.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Five types of men single women should avoid

It is very important for single women to be able to discern the kinds of men around them in order to know where to draw the line. Some women get caught unawares because they don't know the kind of guy they are dealing with until he pulls a weird stunt on them.

I did some research from my experience archives and from those of my friends and I have made a list of five types of men you should not take seriously.
  • The jumper: This is a man that meets you today and ten minutes into the conversation, tells you he is madly in love with you. While that may sound romantic in hollywood movies, it is super-creepy in real life. The jumper doesn't understand boundaries; he doesn't understand the lines between acquaintance, friend, boyfriend and fiance. No matter what you tell him to put him off, he keeps blurring the lines and gets upset when you don't reciprocate. he doesn't give you time to even get to know his last name. If he has your number, he will send you all the love poems in the world 24 hours after meeting you. Beware, the jumper is after something and 'something could be anything perhaps even an idiotic urge to satisfy his ego. RUN from this man! He can go from romantic to aggressive in the twinkle of an eye. and he has great tendencies to be a stalker. *singing... I got a feeling, somebody's watching me* 

Monday, January 13, 2014

Are you putting God in a box?

"Where do you see yourself in five years?" That was the question that made my throat dry and made mne request a glass of water I would not have needed if I had rehearsed my answer countless times. I wondered what I ought to say...."in the COO's chair? which was my five year dream, the CEO? which i hoped to make in eight years? Regional manager? departmental manager? group manager? In my head, I quickly thought of what I believed would be most possible according to my logical deductions and settled for the 'lowliest' possible position. I put God in a match box.

Sadly, I didn't realize it until I attended church yesterday and the pastor shared the story of  a man who had responded to the same question with the answer "the CEO's chair" and well, he made it to the CEO's chair in time.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

It's a date... Is sex on the table?

Sex sells; we are all aware of that. These days, manufacturing companies can't advertise a product without having a sexy lady doing something that has absoluttely nothing to do with the product. It could be a TV advert for a spanner and there would be a half-naked lady sitting somewhere in the desert in a a bikini and fanning herself as beads of pespiration give her a sensual glow, only for her to reach for a spanner somewhere in the desert sand.... Enough said, we know sex sells but should it be for sale?

The youth mentality today is troubling; while young women are of the opinion that stingy men are a plague that should be avoided completely ( I agree by the way), young men are of the opinion that they can't spend a dime on a woman unless they have the assurance that they will get to hit it at the end of the date. If sex is not on the table, lady pay for your own movie ticket. How sad?!


These days, when most young men look at a woman, whether she is fully clad in the most baggy clothes one can imagine or in a bikini, they see one thing....a fellow negotiator and the currencies are fun and sex. Most times, when a young man approaches a lady for a date, he is actually saying "Let's negotiate; I will take you out to dinner and  a movie and you will give me an awesome sex-ercise session at the end of the evening."

Have we reduced sex to something that anyone can get by paying for it? Is that what going on a date is all about? Dating someone should not be about sex! I can sense many teenagers will read this and roll their eyes but believe me, it is not! If you are taking a lady out on  a date simply because you hope to 'hit it' at the end of the date, then you need to re-examine your way of thinking. If you think a movie, dinner and maybe a walk is all down payment for your enjoyment, later, then you should not be dating. you should be picking sluts by the roadside. 

Mocking The Thanksgiver???

Thanksgiving is a culture preached all through in the bible and the importance cannot be over emphasised. Everyone has (ought to have) that moment of deep reflection when one is so humbled by God’s goodness that one can’t but jump on a rooftop and sing the Lord’s praises in a very high voice.

I wrote once about us being so used to God’s goodness that we forget to thank God. The part I didn’t discuss is how in our ungratefulness we jeer at others that are grateful. I was asked once why I lose myself in church and I replied ‘where else would I have done that?’ it is funny how we sometimes think one could get embarrassed praising God.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

It is a true Covenant Relationship - Seed Time and Harvest

Genesis 8: 22: While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.”

Galatians 6: 7: Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.

The principle of Seed Time and Harvest, though stated in the Bible many years ago, still remains valid forever. It was first mentioned in the Bible by God when he smelled the pleasnt aroma of the burnt offerring by Noah to Him after he came out of the ark after the flood.

As you would realise, Seedtime and Harvest is like summer and winter, day and night; it shall never cease. It does not only relate to Christians alone but all the peoples of the world irrespective of race, tribe, colour or religion.

So I would like to point out some simple deductions from this wholesome truth.
  1. If you must reap, you must sow. Do not think anything will come to you without you evidently doing the work.
  2. You cannot sow oranges and reap lemons. You cannot sow little and reap big. 
  3. No matter how long it takes, whatever you sow, you will reap. Just be patient

Split Frame of Reference: As I Submit to My Wife



Stumbled on this blog and I found it really nice and simple so I thought had to share.Enjoy.

Honestly, this post was originally two and a half pages, with roughly 20 footnotes. I ditched all of that for something shorter and -- hopefully -- sweeter. With my wife sitting across the table from me (she doesn't suspect what I'm writing -- hee hee), I couldn't be more proud of her. Working hard on both her career and in her PhD application (Fuller Theological Seminary, Systematic Theology), as a proud husband I couldn't be happier. Her experiences at Westminster and Trinity have shown me that it cannot be easy for a woman at a complementarian seminary; though TEDS was significantly less obnoxious on that count. So I admire her for pushing on and getting through the difficult aspects of seminary and how she made time for me.

When I proposed and she said yes, we spent a few months prepping the wedding, going through the usual (and often unusual) circumstances that all couples go through. Once the dust cleared and we settled into some sense of daily life, it became quite clear that mutual submission was an unspoken norm in our lives. It simply existed in principle and was acted out in practice. Its honestly been a blessing not having to be the one who (always) pulls the trigger, and its helpful to know that there is a strength in Allison that is made perfect in my instances of weakness. Of course, she would say the same of me and that's lovely to consider. Finances, theology and the plotting of daily life has been a joy in that we both approach such things differently but with the united mind of serving each other. If I submit to her, then it not only makes it a genuine expression of her interests instead of my own, but that I know that she has my best interests at heart. The same for her and me and on it goes.

When one is sick, the other steps up. When one is depressed, the other goes any mile needed to esteem the other. In mutual submission, the other is helped and raised and loved to the point where submission is a genuine joy and anything but a chore.

In being married for over four months, I can safely say that the most difficult aspect of an egalitarian marriage is the jointly amusing task of deciding who gets to submit more. When such a treat is framed in this way, I fail to understand why anyone wouldn't want to submit to their spouse.

Yeah. I think this works better than twenty footnotes.

--Nick

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Getting Christians Prepared For Sex In Marriage

I once talked with a young man who confessed that he strayed from his marriage and gave way to temptation. When I asked him why he did so, he said his wife was not romantic and he also had premature ejaculation issues.

He felt so inadequate and insecure that he was not satisfying his wife and sex was getting very boring. He found solace in his ex-girlfriend who made him feel like a man even with his "perceived inadequacies".

I then asked if he treated the subject of Sex in his premarital counselling classes. Unfortunately the answer was NO. It is interesting that some Christians are not ready for this aspect of life before they get married. And You don't have to be involved in this act before marriage because premarital Sex is NOT allowed.

Some might ask, "So how do I get prepared sexually for my marriage?"
  • First of all, as uncomfortable as it might seem to talk about this topic, Sex plays a big role in every marriage. You need to understand this. It is one of the major causes of problems in homes.
  • Secondly, you also need to understand the difference between the world's view of sex which might influenced you and God's view of Sex. You might have been influnced by friends, by the Television. Get to know God's idea of Sex. Read previous posts on Christians, God never intended sexual intimacy for procreation alone - Part 1 and Part 2.
  • Thirdly, you need to understand the sexual differences between men and woman. When it comes to sex, men and women are wired differently.

Embrace your awesome-ness!!!

When the fireworks started on the first of January and everyone screamed joyfully that they were alive, breathing and living  again to see another year, I wondered what the year held and how it would pan out. Don't get me wrong, I was not worrying about anything; Philipians 4:6 is my watchword for every difficult season. One thing I wondered about was if I would live free this year.

Many of us are living in bondage without realising it. We live by the staunch rules that society has laid out for us; we live by the rules people we look up to have laid out for us. We do not carve our own paths anymore; instead we steadfastly and blindly walk the old beaten paths that many others have walked. We fail to distinguish ourselves because we are afraid of what people might say. "If they know I can ;do this, they may never speak to me again", "if I want these girls to stay friends with me, I'd better not show them I am better at doing this than they are." We fail to embrace our awesome-ness!

We live in the bondage of fashion dictated by society. Many of us are so blindly moving with trends, we are scaring little children on the streets with our fashion choices. Many of us are so eager to please the head of the women's group in church, we let our homes suffer from a lack of connection. Many of us are like lap dogs, saying "YES" to save face.

 I was blessed by a friend with a book called "captivting" by John and stasi Eldredge and in it, Stasi took a poke at the proverbs 31 woman that so many of us strive to become. She pointed out that the Proverbs 31 woman is so busy, she probably has little or no time to do anything else. Yes, she's hardworking and efficient but when does she chat with her children? when does she have time to cater to her husband's needs emotionally? I thought it was funny but I also found some truth in it.

To embrace your awesome-ness, you need to embrace who you are. You need to fall in love with yourself over and over again and accept that you are not the Proverbs 31 woman or the most righteous man on earth. You have flaws but your flaws are part of what make you unique. You have talents; well, show them to the world! Let us benefit from the gift God has blessed you with. Don't let society dictate who you should be. Live free as Christ intended! If you love singing, take a bold step and let people hear your voicve. If it's writing, channel in a direction to bless other people. You are a work in progress and you will be till the day you die. In spite of that, God has placed some awesome characteristics in you. You just need to let it shine through! Embrace life, live free, do that thing you've always wanted to do. Take bold steps towards your goals! Embrace your awesome-ness! Let your light shine!

From this day, when someone asks "How are you?" let your response be "I am awesome!" (Many of my friends will testify this is my response most of the time). Stay blessed! xoxo

Do you want revenge or you want to stay married?

Credit: Kenyan Post
I heard a story about a woman who caught her husband with another woman. The lady, a doctor, came back from a hospital call one night and saw her husband sleeping with another woman on her matrimonial bed. She was so shocked; she dropped her bag, stepped back and closed the bedroom door without a word.

She went back to the hospital and went into a rage. Thereafter, she called an elderly aunt and told her what she had seen. The elderly aunt asked her the question, Do you want revenge or you want to stay married? The lady was taken aback by the question. The aunt went further, If you want revenge, I will tell you what to do but I guarantee you that this is not the right solution. However, if you want to stay married, I will tell you what to do. Go back home and behave as if nothing happened. But how can I pretend nothing happened? she cried out. I can never forgive him. The wise aunt replied, if you really want to stay married, just do as I say.

So the doctor went back home and pretended as if she didn't see anything. She continued his life as if everything was normal. However, this was not the case with the husband. He knew she had seen him but was puzzled that she didn't say anything. Two days after, he couldn't take it anymore. He went and confessed to his family and the wife's family that he had committed adultery and they should beg his wife for forgiveness.
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