Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Split Frame of Reference: As I Submit to My Wife



Stumbled on this blog and I found it really nice and simple so I thought had to share.Enjoy.

Honestly, this post was originally two and a half pages, with roughly 20 footnotes. I ditched all of that for something shorter and -- hopefully -- sweeter. With my wife sitting across the table from me (she doesn't suspect what I'm writing -- hee hee), I couldn't be more proud of her. Working hard on both her career and in her PhD application (Fuller Theological Seminary, Systematic Theology), as a proud husband I couldn't be happier. Her experiences at Westminster and Trinity have shown me that it cannot be easy for a woman at a complementarian seminary; though TEDS was significantly less obnoxious on that count. So I admire her for pushing on and getting through the difficult aspects of seminary and how she made time for me.

When I proposed and she said yes, we spent a few months prepping the wedding, going through the usual (and often unusual) circumstances that all couples go through. Once the dust cleared and we settled into some sense of daily life, it became quite clear that mutual submission was an unspoken norm in our lives. It simply existed in principle and was acted out in practice. Its honestly been a blessing not having to be the one who (always) pulls the trigger, and its helpful to know that there is a strength in Allison that is made perfect in my instances of weakness. Of course, she would say the same of me and that's lovely to consider. Finances, theology and the plotting of daily life has been a joy in that we both approach such things differently but with the united mind of serving each other. If I submit to her, then it not only makes it a genuine expression of her interests instead of my own, but that I know that she has my best interests at heart. The same for her and me and on it goes.

When one is sick, the other steps up. When one is depressed, the other goes any mile needed to esteem the other. In mutual submission, the other is helped and raised and loved to the point where submission is a genuine joy and anything but a chore.

In being married for over four months, I can safely say that the most difficult aspect of an egalitarian marriage is the jointly amusing task of deciding who gets to submit more. When such a treat is framed in this way, I fail to understand why anyone wouldn't want to submit to their spouse.

Yeah. I think this works better than twenty footnotes.

--Nick

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