Monday, April 14, 2014

"I'm NEVER getting Married!!!"

This post is addressed to all youths out there that have uttered this statements more times than they can count. "I'm never getting married"...It sounds so final, so sure, some of us even call it a preference..."i prefer not to get married". It is very common amongst ladies that are struggling to meet to the kind of man they'd like to spend the rest of their lives with. Someone was said to me "I am tired of dating. I know what my standards are but sometimes, I let go of them simply because I feel they are too high, yet I end up disappointed and used. I am never getting married." It is important to note that the laduy in question was 24 at the time she said this and now, at 27, she is happily married. I've heard of many stories like hers and it made me wonder, why do we sentence ourselves to a life of loneliness when the author of time has not sentenced us to such?

I know why....these days, many of us get hurt, marriage seems to be an obsolete idea and commitment is no longer a sweet sound to the ears of many but a source of phobia. Many men don't want to commit and they make it clear; many women are eager to get married but there are no men. In some cases, many men are looking forward to marriage but they just can't meet the 'right' woman. After many disappointments and heartbreaks, we retire to our rooms, wet our pillows and say to ourselves, "I'm never getting married." Sometimes, this statement is uttered in other demeaning forms "I am unlovable", "I'm just one of those girls that people take advantage of all the time", "I do my best in relationships but the guy moves on to someone else.", "perhaps, I am meant to be alone".....the list goes on.

I sat and thought about these statements and something hit me..How do we know all these? Are we now able to tell what the future holds for us? Dear single lady/single man, it is time to stop with the sentencing. Why? Because you have no idea what tomorrow holds for you. Sure, the world seems to be leaning towards non-commital relationships but it is important to know you are still too young to sentence yourself to an unhappy life of loneliness. One thing that makes me laugh about the youth of today is the fact that we are so good at covering our tracks and true feelings..."I just don't think marriage is worth the trouble" when really, what we want to say is "I have been hurt so badly, I am scared it will happen again." It is time to deal with what really bothers you and move on from it. If someone hurt you to the depth of your soul, acknowledge the hurt and move on. Cry if you have to but don't let anyone leave you broken and bitter forever.

Marriage is a beautiful institution God designed for his purpose and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you will start to stay away from those that have the traits of spoilers and devourers. It is also important to know that you will not be the same man or woman in another three to five years, which means you will most likely meet different people, have a different lifestyle and be in a different place in life altogether, a place that holds promises of brighter things to come, a place that probably has everything you've always dreamed of, a place where you will forget past hurts and disappointments. Don't sentence yourself to a future you don't even know. God has a plan for you, for everyone and like my friends used to say in Afrikaans, "Daar is 'n deksel vir elke pot"- There is a lid for every pot.

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