Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Searching For Love Online: 6 Things You Need To Know


Do guys still harass ladies by tailing them in a car or walking closely behind them to get their numbers or contacts? I remember that was the deal sometime ago and few people probably still practise that. You all will agree it is a lot easier chatting another up on the social media these days. One can comfortably hide behind the keypads swelling with false confidence while typing things one would have lacked the courage to say if there were no barriers.

Technology generally has made sure our physical contacts with other human beings are becoming less and less, but the thing is, one barely notices this trend. I stay connected with my friends that I haven’t seen in years and I feel like when we see, it will feel like we saw ourselves the day before because of the closeness I feel through voice messages and picture updates.

Some researchers even arrived at a conclusion that one feels the emotions  that the emojis  used in some of the apps on these social media represent. Meaning I am probably happy when I use the dancing smiley and depressed when I use the sad face smiley.

I know someone that got married to a guy she met on bbm, he proposed to her the first day they saw themselves physically. While that might seem like a risk, I must confess they have had a great marriage so far. Not everyone is as lucky. I have heard countless tales of online relationship woes.
The line between physical and virtual has become blurred and many people are becoming more and more involved in online relationships.
Do you still wonder if the social media is the right place to meet the one you would want to spend forever with? Well, these are some things for you to consider;

  • ·         What exactly are you looking for? Many people have been treated to shocks of their lives when they finally meet the person that has been making their adrenaline rise really high. The person sometimes doesn’t measure up in any way to the pictures. If you are big on physical looks, then, you might want to reconsider before getting in an online relationship because what you see is not always what you get.

  • ·         Getting to know the other person outside of the social media is absolutely necessary. We all come from different backgrounds that we don’t feel the need to reveal in our online profiles. Behind a humorous profile might be a dark and depressed individual. If one doesn’t spend time with the other person, this dark side might be a terrible surprise at a much later time. Understand that no matter how much you think you know an individual on line, the person is largely a stranger. Be careful who you allow into your life.
It is advisable to court yourselves outside the media to get better acquainted.

  • ·         Have reasonable expectations. Consider geographical barriers. It is almost ridiculous to think something could come out of a relationship with someone that one has slim chances of ever meeting. You can’t be in Nigeria while your online lover is in Australia or Finland. There will be a cultural shock and you might never be able to adapt.It is ridiculous to think there is a future in an online relationship of up to four years where the other party has been avoiding a physical meet up. I won’t act like some of these relationships don’t finally work out but a good number don’t.

  • ·         Always take your time. You need not rush into something solid suddenly. You need to consider the other person’s values. Do they correspond with yours? Do you stand for the same things? In answering these questions, you need to look in the right places. There are different sites that tend to different relationship needs, find your category. Join a Christian dating site if you have to. I am not saying this erases the other things you should be looking out for but it limits the negatives you might be opening yourself to.

  • ·         When you want to meet up, pick a neutral place in the outdoors. Visiting the other person’s house might not be a good decision. Take your time to build your trust in the other person.

  • ·         Above all, don’t forget the role of prayer, ask God to know His thoughts on what you are involving yourself in. If you get a good feeling in your spirit, keep at it.

I know the older generation frown at online relationships but it has become a big part of our lives in the present times. Least we can do is arm ourselves with the right tools when getting into it.
Have a pleasant time dating.

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