Friday, June 20, 2014

The Matchmaking Pit... Why You Should Avoid It

Matchmaking is one of those things I avoid as much as possible. These days, it is becoming popular as more and more people are out on a search for partners for their friends, relatives and in some cases, even their children. 

Call me a prude, but I find matchmaking rather burdensome. Sometimes, it works out that two people meet each other through a matchmaker, fall in love and end up having a blissful marital life. Most times however, matchmaking, done through family or friends don't work out too well. Friends and family tend to think they know what we need; if you're a talkative lady, you must want a quiet man. If he's a christian man with a good job, there's no reason you shouldn't like him...afterall, he ticks all the boxes on their list. Unfortunately, attraction is a key ingredient in relationships and many match-made couples tend to lack that. I always say, it is a nice thing if the matchmaker is a friend your age, who simply wants to hook you up with someone he or she believes you might find happiness with; it's a different story when it's someone older...like an aunt or a close family friend; except, you're stubborn and determined to not be swayed into unhappiness, you have a lengthy, uneasy road before you. 

I don't mind being introduced to men that could be potential Mr. Right, but the pressure to develop a relationship is what I detest. Many matchmakers, in a bid to add another badge to their cloaks, tend to push and push...words like "endure", "don't be hard to get", "go with the flow" etc are often used to push many people closer to their source of unhappiness. And we all know it's difficult to say no when it's an older family member...well, except you're like my sister who switched off her phone for days to avoid a hook up that would have been detrimental to her emotional wellbeing. 

Where there is no attraction or connection, the chances of having a happy relationship are a little slim to none. Don't be forced into something that will make you unhappy, simply because all your colleagues are married or because an aunt said "happiness and love will come". Remember, you're the one that will live with this person for the rest of your life, not your matchmaker. Be wise! It's your life and happiness at stake! Xoxo 

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