Wednesday, June 25, 2014

What's the Relationship Game Plan for a Happy Marriage?

My answer? None.

Many single people are curious. We want to know which way is the right way in relationships; how can we make sure our relationships lead to marriage and how can we make sure those marriages last?

Many people are quick to offer advice - "don't date a guy except you're 100 percent sure he will marry you", "don't show your partner you love him or her too much, else you'll be taken for granted".... the advice keeps pouring in, leaving many of us lost, unable to decide which direction to turn. I've met many miserable ladies who are desperate to be single simply because they followed someone else's 'game plan'. Just because Mr and Mrs A didn't date before they married or because a pastor dreamed they were meant to be, doesn't mean the same formula will work for you.

Many newly married couples are quick to offer unsolicited advice about how you should conduct yourself if you want to get a ring on your finger. "Show him you're wife material", "clear the issue of marriage before you even agree to date him".... sometimes I wonder, if men were to approach women and say from day one, "I want to marry you now", wouldn't we be skeptical of such men? There is no formula to make your relationship lead to marriage! Sounds pessimistic right? Yes, but it's true because you can only control how you act in a relationship, you can't control your partner's actions! Sometimes you can do everything right, say the right things, act the right way, yet still be left brokenhearted. I know a woman who did everything to please her husband, yet could not deter him from his philandering ways. Our worldly formulas don't work; they are formulas we've created because we feel street smart. Life is an irony; a woman may be unwilling to show how she feels about her man, yet he'll love her more than life while another woman who shows her feelings to her man will be considered clingy and annoying. Sometimes, the clingy women are even loved more while the women who believe in keeping their emotions under wraps are left to spend cold nights with their cats or parrots.

There is no single game plan to make a relationship work. What you can do is to continually pray to God for the right partner, pray for someone who will love you just as you are and will help you achieve God's purpose for your life. Xoxo

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