Most
times a person with better experience can provide a deeper insight into things.
This has always checked out time after time. I am of the opinion however that much as it might seem like there is no air tight formula in being able to achieve a healthy
relationship, some principles are just so recurrent that they never go old.
Jeanne
Faulkner shares her tips gotten from almost 33years experience and although you
might have heard or read them before, her straight to the point tips might be
less confusing and more achievable. Enjoy.
My
husband and I will soon celebrate our 33rd wedding anniversary. We got married
way too young and the odds were probably stacked against us and yet, here we
are so many years later and we're still together. We're not celebrities, not
wealthy, not in the spotlight and not any different than anybody else who has
picked a lifetime partner. We've been through some seriously great times
together but we've also been through some shit and I mean real-life
shit that could be way too much for some couples to withstand. So
what's the key to our longevity? It's pretty simple. We're happy together, we
like each other's company and we're still genuinely in love. That accounts for
most of why we've been able to stick it out while other couples can't. We have
other keys though and here are ten of them:
1. When
you're thinking about getting married, pick someone you absolutely adore. It
sets a good baseline for those times when you get on each other's nerves.
2. Make
sure he/she has a sense of humor -- you're going to need it. If that
sense of humor is similar to yours, you'll have a lot of fun together.
3. Don't
consider your spouse a fixer-upper. The person he/she is on the day
you marry is the same person he'll be 30, 40 or 50-odd years later. His habits,
body, career, friends, interests and goals might change, but the person he is
deep inside will remain the same. If you don't think he's fabulous as is, don't
get married.
4. Expect
your marriage to be a nice long road trip with smooth stretches and
unpaved areas, hills, curves, valleys, ditches and quite a few speed bumps and
potholes. Every now and again you might need to fix the engine and find a good
mechanic, but don't forget to stop at the viewpoints, enjoy the scenery, pack
good snacks and take a lot of pictures.
5. Be
nicer and more compassionate to each other than to anyone else.
6. If
you have children, don't make them the total focus of your marriage.They're
important and distracting and they'll require a lot of your attention, but
they'll only be with you for about 20 years. Your spouse will be with you for
life.
7. Communication
is important, but it doesn't always have to be verbal and you don't
absolutely have to talk about every little thing that comes up. Leave room for
silence.
8. Have
your own interests, activities, friends and career. Share liberally with
your spouse but don't expect him/her to be your everything.
9. Each
spouse should work and contribute money to the household. It's one of
the best ways to support each other. Plus, if each partner is a wage owner, the
balance of give and take and power and responsibility in the relationship is
more equal.
10. Don't get
divorced. Plain and simple.
Original Article appeared on www.huffingtonpost.com
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