Friday, August 22, 2014

Don't Be Left Behind!!!

Those were the words that haunted me as I went to bed a couple of nights ago. After my usual routine of watching tv for at least a couple of hours a day, I struck up a spontaneous conversation with one of my acquaintances on BBM and the conversation steered in the direction of relationships. She asked why I wasn't seeing anyone and I simply told her "I haven't met the one. Many men out there are either cheats and liars or downright shady in the way they earn a living." (I'm not planning to have a criminal record. I may be a president's wife one day).

She went on to ask how many women get married every saturday if good men are so hard to find, I responded that some women are lucky, while others are willing to put up with liars and cheats for the glory of being called "Mrs". Her response? "At least they are getting married". I paused..... and carried on the conversation. Like I stated earlier, she is an acquaintance of mine and I really didn't think I knew her well enough to have an in-depth discussion about that response. I went on to say many men are weirdos, they meet you today and propose to marry you next week. That sounds really sweet, but am I willing to marry someone I barely know? No! The divorce rate is high enough as it is, I have no plans to contribute to it. Worse still is the fact that some of these men get offended when you ask for sufficient time to know them and often accompany their proposals with a barrage of insults.

Her response? Times have changed! You can't expect a man to chase you for years (I was thinking, if he's chasing me for years, then he must have a really thick skull. I usually make it clear after a month or even a couple of weeks if I'm not interested. Give me a couple of months to know you, a few more months to date you before you spring marriage on me). I continued reading her messages... "You just have to be smart about it", she said. "If a man proposes marriage after a couple of weeks, keep him interested while you get to know him. You might be prude and conservative but you need to move with the world! Don't be left behind!!!"

Oh? I managed a LOL and announced my intention to drift off to la la land, switched off my phone and tried to sleep but I couldn't! If a woman doesn't jump at a marriage proposal from a man she barely knows, does that make her a prude? If a woman wants to get some time to know the man who is interested in her, does that make her conservative and boring? I need some clarification here, because I have been confused since I had that conversation. What i could infer from response 1,"At least they are getting married" is that it doesn't matter who the man is, or how much of a liar he is, you will be married and that is what is most important. LOL. Now I am really laughing, no wonder some men think the sun shines out of their ass. We are to blame! These days, when men joke, they usually take jabs at women, claiming women will be over the moon if they were to propose. Marriage proposals are seen as favours by men with fragile egos and small minds. Don't get me wrong, I am not against marriage. I love marriage, I want to be married but do I want to be married to just anyone? NO! Not every man who proposes marriage is good for you. You need to be able to know what you want in a man and be patient enough to wait for it.I am not saying you should be on the lookout for Mr. Perfect, there are some superficial characteristics that can be overlooked but you need to have a connection with the man you marry; intellectually, emotionally, financially and spiritually! Just because a man says "I want to marry you" doesn't mean he's good enough!

About being a prude, oh well! better a prude than a person with warts and herpes, right? In an effort to not be described as prudish and old school, many women are moving with the world, jumping into bed to keep men interested, falling for a man that hints at marriage,getting dumped, abused and heartbroken every other month...how's that working out for you ladies? I am not saying you should act like you've been living in a cave, I am not saying you should be boring or act offended when a guy makes jokes or comments about things you'd rather leave unsaid, but it doesn't mean you should entertain every guy, simply to prove you are not a prude! Marriage looks nice and glamorous, especially on the wedding day, but believe me, forever is a long time! Avoid getting caught up in the rhythms of the world, just because you don't want to be left behind.

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