Monday, August 11, 2014

Is Your Spouse's Past Important?

 Very often when we embark on a new relationship, our curiosity is at its highest. We want to know what our new found love did in the past? Was he a womanizer? Was she sleeping with more than one guy at the same time? Does she have a history of breaking hearts? Was he the type to have sex with a lady and never call her back?

It is understandable that we should be very protective of ourselves when going into relationships and sometimes, this kinf of information can provide us with a basic knowledge of the kind of person we are falling in love with. But what happens when we just can't let go of what we have discovered? Over the weekend, I decided to go on a movie marathon at the cinemas. I failed because I ended up only watching two movies but the second movie "Think Like a Man Too" got me thinking. I'd avoided seeing this movie for the longest time because I expected it was just another bout of mindless comedy that provided poor insight into relationships and made it seem like everything could just work out after a kiss. One of the couples got me thinking when they arrived in Las Vegas for a party weekend and the lady started to discover that her partner had embarked on more sexual escapades than he cared to admit to before he met her. She held on to this the entire weekend, angry, filled with despair and above all unsure of whether she wanted to go on with the relationship.

Many relationships suffer the same blow; the guy who seems like the only angel on the surface of the earth turns out to be the biggest womanizer amongst his friends and the lady you believe is the most amazing person on earth has skeletons in her closet. Don't despair; sometimes the past is not a reflection of the true individual. I once read a quote somewhere that said "A person's past may be true but it is also outdated information". People grow everyday, and change their lifestyle as they grow older. The important question to ask yourself is "does my partner still fit the bill of this past image?" If the answer is no, move on! Now I know many women will fail when it comes to this question because over-analysis is our specialty. Try your best to be as objective as possible, and try to focus on what your partner is doing NOW. Now is what matters most. We all make terrible decisions at some point, and we've all had a little mischief in our past. However, what we are doing now is what really counts. 

It is a good thing to know your partner's past, but be willing to see beyond it. Don't let images from the past cloud your judgement in the present. XOXO.

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