Wednesday, October 22, 2014

5 Steps To Save A Failing Relationship - Part 2

In case you missed Part 1, click here..Part 1

2. Acknowledge God as the centre of your marriage. God should be at the centre of every marriage. Every marriage will have its ups and downs, its mountains and valleys. Only those who are rooted on the word and God’s Love will be able to weather the storms. God is the creator of marriage so we need to make him the centre of this relationship.

3. Acknowledge your responsibility to make the marriage work. It baffles me when men think they can just pack up a marriage when it does not work out. They feel it is their fault if the other party is not involved and they can give up since the other party is not interested. As men, we should understand that our relationship with our wives is like that of Christ and the church. Jesus Christ died for the church even when it knew Him not. I believe every man should be ready to die to make his relationship, his marriage work. It is when you have this kind of commitment and attitude; you will be willing to save your marriage when you notice that something is missing.

The first three steps are acknowledgements that you have to accept before you start taking any actions.

4. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. This action involves you talking with your spouse about the state of your marriage. Both of you must honestly talk about the things that are not right. Talk about the expectations; disappointments, hopes and aspirations. Develop and communicate the vision for your marriage and family. Create avenues where you constantly communicate with your spouse everyday.

5. Continuously Sharpen the Saw. According to Stephen Covey, the best selling author of “7 habits of highly effective people”, he said the 7th habit is “Sharpen the Saw”. Sharpening the saw is about renewing yourself - physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Apply this to your marriage. Set up a regular programme to assess and revitalise your marriage.

In conclusion, I will to say that in every relationship, there is an emotional bank account. The emotional bank account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust built up in the relationship. Like a financial bank account, you need to continually make deposits in it so that the bank account is always full even when withdrawals are made. So it is with your spouse. 

You need to constantly make deposits in her emotional bank account through kind words, actions, honesty and keeping commitments. So that even when you make a little mistake (like a withdrawal in a financial bank account), there is always enough to compensate for it.

However if you have a habit of ignoring your spouse, showing disrespect, betraying her trust, eventually your emotional bank account will be overdrawn. This is not healthy for a relationship or a marriage.

Invest wisely.

1 comment:

  1. Inspiring post,but what if it's difficult finding a common ground in your relationship? What will you do?

    ReplyDelete

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