Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Cheating In Marriage: It's Not Just About You

I've had this topic on my mind for some time but the urge to write it became overwhelming when I heard about the death of South African goalkeeper Senzo Meyiwa. For those of you who do not know, Senzo was married and was simultaneously dating a singer. His extramarital affair was no secret, if anything at all, it was a 'national relationship'. Everyone knew about it. Sadly, Senzo was killed while he was with his girlfriend by unknown gunmen, and the debate about his cheating, and chances of being alive if he had been faithful to his wife has been all over social networks.

Cheating is not restricted to one sex. Both men and women find themselves falling into temptation at some point in their lives. I always say that most people who cheat are selfish individuals who are only interested in satisfying their desires, with no regard for how their partners may be affected. For some people, with every achievement they attain, the desire to cheat increases. Many people cheat to feed their egos and massage their low self-esteem. Most of us assume cheating in marriage is a norm that comes with no consequences... especially when our partners don't find out. Hmmm....

Having spent many weekends watching investigation discovery, and listening to many horror stories, I can say confidently that cheating goes beyond satisfying sexual urges, and often comes back to bite the cheater and his/her innocent partner. Many men or women who cheat do not consider the possibility that the person they're cheating with may be a psychopath, a narcissist or even an obsessive individual with an inclination to murder. Most of us believe that if we have protected sex, then our partners do not have to worry about contracting any diseases. The emotional trauma? They can deal with it.

It is so sad that an institution God designed to be sacred, full of love, consideration, and nurture has become a mere ridicule of society. If you are cheating on your partner, it's time to reconsider. It's not too late to change your ways, and devote your energy to making your marriage work. Put yourself in your partner's shoes, have some empathy. He or she may not contract a disease or even find out about your cheating ways, but what happens if you get shot while with someone else at an ungodly hour? Or worse still, what if your partner is made to pay for your actions with his or her life?

Being selfish is a character trait we must all fight to suppress. Marriage is a partnership between two people who deserve equal respect and love. And marriage can be fun if both parties will dedicate their effort to making it work. You don't need to cheat to be happy. Instead, do things that make you happy with your spouse.

Xoxo

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