Monday, October 20, 2014

Signs You Are Obnoxious and Unaware Of It

Almost everyone has a certain degree of 'unpleasantness' to them; I like to call this the tolerable degree. Many of us can be moody, curt in our responses, or just not in the mood to deal with people. Yet, we somehow find a way to relate well with people without them wanting to avoid us completely. 

The case is different for obnoxious people; obnoxious people are people that are EXTREMELY UNPLEASANT to be around. They are the kinds of people many of us would jump into the red sea to avoid, and if you are a nice person, you'll only be able to take obnoxious individuals in doses of once every six mnonths. In other words, you'll only be able to stand such people for a couple of hours once every six months before you run for cover.

Sadly, many obnoxious people are either unaware of how unpleasant they are, or they bask in an illusion that people want to be around them but are truly too busy. In case you are wondering if you are obnoxious, here are some signs you may want to look out for.
  • You cut people off mid-sentence EVERYTIME: Obnoxious people have a feeling of self-importance that I just can't explain. They believe for some reason that what they have to say is definitely more important than what anyone else might currently be saying. They cut people off mid-sentence, not necessarily to buttress a certain point of view, but sometimes to even change the topic while that person is still busy! Yeah I know right...who does that?
  • You ALWAYS want to talk about yourself: It doesn't matter if the topic of discussion is about birds migrating to a different pole for the summer, obnoxious people always find a way to make it about themselves. They want to be the centre of attention, and are eager to tell uninterested individuals about their countless achievements, which if they could, they'd staple all over their clothes so everyone can see. In case you haven't noticed, no one wants to hang out with someone that's caught up in a personal fable. There are many other things happening in the world. Get over yourself!
  • You are ALWAYS talking: This is the one that makes me run for cover! I once went to see a movie with a guy; firstly, he couldn't stop talking about everything he has achieved, and he couldn't stop talking no matter how hard I stared at the screen. I felt like my ears were about to fall off! If you find yourself in this category, you need to pause and ask yourself if the person you are speaking to has been able to get a word in the past five minutes. If no, then you have some work to do. If the only word your conversation partner got in was a diplomatic request for you to shut up, try doing exactly that-shutting up.
  • You give UNSOLICITED Advice: Besides rudely cutting people off, talking about themselves constantly and barely listening to what other people are saying, obnoxious people are willing to give advice when really they should be advising themselves. They give advice before you are even done relating your situation, and more often than not, their advice will point out your stupidity and lack of skill regarding the issue at hand. Weird thing is they do not see anything wrong with telling you you lack skill or are stupid beyond imagination. Yeah, when they have a mouthful of insults, they employ the Nike tag line- they just say it!
  • You don't LISTEN to other people: This is the one that is really weird for me! You could be having a conversation about cars and making a point, an obnoxious person would suddenly jump in and start discussing dogs. Like hello? what do dogs and cars have to do with each other? Many obnoxious people have the conversations planned out in their heads, and it does not matter what you are talking about, they will stick to the agenda in their heads and have a one-sided conversation. I have experienced this firsthand and all I could do when I got home was take a shower and a couple of aspirin pills to wade off the impending headache that was threatening my sanity.
    There is nothing attractive about any of these signs, and no, people aren't avoiding you because they are busy, they are avoiding you because they can't stand you. If you find yourself in any of these categories, practice conversing with others and lettimg them lead the conversation.

    Ditch the voices in your head and have a conversation based on what other people are saying. Don't give advice when you're not asked; keep your thoughts to yourself! Learn to let others talk about themselves and acknowledge their achievements instead of trying to overshadow them with your own.

    XOXO




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