Tuesday, December 2, 2014

How The Silent Treatment Slowly Destroys Relationships

It is a popular tactic; when your partner misbehaves, says something unpleasant or refuses to bend to your will when you need him or her to, the silent treatment is regarded as the relationship saver. It notifies your partner of your displeasure without you using any words, gets your partner into an apologetic mode and eventually gets you what you want- lots of attention and perhaps even gets your partner to bend to your desires. The silent treatment is definitely a winner when it is first applied. However, with time, its charm starts to wear off, it loses its hold, and it soon becomes a useless tool in your toolbox. 

Many people fail to realize when the silent treatment has lost its charm. They keep applying it like a master tool to all situations, until they eventually find themselves at opposite ends of the room with their partners, unable to utter a word of reconciliation. Then they wonder, 'how did things get so bad?'

Many of us do not understand that the silent treatment works perfectly at first because our partners are trying to please us, bring us out of our misery and show us the relationship is worth fighting for. It gets tiring if every time something goes wrong, we retire into misery and wait for them to come and pull us out of it. It is like having a constant need of assurance, and an air of self-importance- believing your partner has to come to your corner to relate with you, as opposed to both of you meeting each other halfway. It is exhausting, irritating and probably the most immature technique ever applied to solving relationship issues. 

Have you tried talking? It works wonders! Telling your partner what he or she did to hurt you, trying to see reason, apologizing and getting past the issue at hand is the best thing you can ever do to solve your relationship issues. Of course there are times when silence will work....perhaps you're extremely angry and wouldn't like to say anything you'll eventually regret, then it makes sense to take a couple of hours to cool off. What's not cool is keeping silent for days and treating your partner like a stranger. Before you know it, it becomes a habit, and you find yourself living with someone you used to know. 


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