Monday, December 15, 2014

Keep Up With Your Spouse!

I didn't think in recent times that I'd have to write about this. I thought it was a trend that was abandoned ages ago - a trend where one partner forged ahead in all aspects of life while the other simply took a laid-back approach with no vision, no desire to achieve anything and no guilt whatsoever that they are leeching off their partners, living the good life, while the poor spouse is out everyday breaking his or her back.

How people feel comfortable doing this is beyond me. I'd walk out of my skin with frustration!

This seemingly obsolete trend is slowly creeping back into society, leading to exhausted spouses, and dysfunctional marriages. Many people become so comfortable in marriage, they believe all their dreams and visions before marriage are meaningless and should be swept under the rug. Instead they bask in their partner's success, live for their partner's dreams, and eventually end up tiring their poor partners out.

Every need they have is placed on their partner's shoulders- need for affirmation, financial needs and even trivial needs. Sadly, women are mostly guilty of this, and they wonder why their partners look elsewhere for someone that fulfills the needs of a partner.

Keep up with your spouse! Marriage is a journey, not a destination. Being married is not the biggest achievement you will ever attain in life. Many people expect their spouses to carry them along, and I always ask "why can't you simply walk alongside your spouse? why do you need to be carried?" It may sound unfair and perhaps cliche in some cases, but many relationships disintegrate because spouses do not keep up with one another.

They grow apart because one person has drive and vision, and the other is OK with reaping the benefits of that drive and vision, without contributing a dime to it. Keeping up with your spouse does not necessarily mean following in the exact same footsteps; it means following your dreams, having a vision for the family and contributing in every way to the stability and wellbeing of your relationship.

Keep up! Grow together, learn together, walk together.

These are some of the simplest ways to keep a relationship evergreen. XOXO

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