Monday, January 19, 2015

Forgiveness - A Cliché But Powerful Gift

To utter the words "I forgive you" is now so cliché, it is often seen as just another way to put an end to arguing, blabbering and unnecessary lengthy discussions about what punishment the offender deserves. Forgiveness, as beautiful as it is, is not esteemed in high regard as it should. Sometimes, it is not given as it should, and sometimes, it is not received as it should. 

To forgive is not as easy as many people think, and I daresay there are some people I know who are naturally gifted in this area of life. Everything is like water off a duck's back to them. They react to unpleasant occurrences steered by their partners, colleagues, friends or family members, but somehow after the explosion of anger, there's a calm within them, and it seems everything they felt a few seconds before sort of vanished into thin air. They forgive wholeheartedly and move on like nothing really happened. Those are people I wish to emulate! 

To forgive is to let go, to acknowledge that the offender is not perfect, is just human, and is deserving of a second chance. When you forgive, you give another person a chance to believe they can get it right next time. To forgive is to bless a person, to tell a person that in spite of what they may have done, they are still whole in your eyes. Forgiveness doesn't keep score, it doesn't try to prove ten years down the line that the other person was at fault. Forgiveness forgets because it lets go. 



While some people find it so easy to give forgiveness, others struggle to accept forgiveness. They believe in punishment and oppression rather than emancipation, so rather than accept forgiveness, they run away from it, and wallow in the afterthought of the horrible deeds they may have done. If we want to sustain the bonds we have formed with others, we must not only learn to forgive, but also to accept forgiveness. Forgiveness is not intended to make us feel small or make us feel unworthy of someone else. It is not a projection of that person being better than we are. It is a gift- a gift we must accept, one we must embrace freely and give freely. XOXO

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