Keeping your relationship as steaming hot as the early days
is hard work but quite achievable. I was conversing with a friend on the issue
and she wanted to know if it was alright to feel unexcited about one’s
relationship. She asked if it was alright not to miss one’s partner enough to
make efforts to check on him and vice versa. Coincidentally, I was going down
my Facebook page when someone on my page was also complaining of same void. She
said she loves her partner but just can’t seem to feel any sparks anymore.
Thing is, it is absolutely normal to get to that state of emptiness. The only
problem would be staying there and just allowing whatever flame that is left to
just fizzle out. This is because if tact is not employed that could be the
result.
This feeling can be as a result of many things. In the
society we are in now we feel the need to constantly keep up with life. We top
our goals and set new ones. It even feels like the 24 hours in a day are not
enough that it is so easy to forget that we have other areas of life that also
need our attention.
The good news is you can have it better, that void can be
filled. Long as you keep your mind off
movies and books expectations, you are covered. There would not always be
breakfast in bed and flowers leading to the bathtub with well chilled wine just
by the side. Your partner would not
always be the thoughtful one and act in time to save your relationship. Your partner
might even be too absorbed with life to realize your discontentment. You might
even have to deal with the pressures of a nine to five job and saddled with the
responsibilities of taking care of your three kids. Or have to deal with career
challenges which might take you away from the same location as your lover. You
need not be hard on yourself for not being excited about your relationship all
the time. What might be hurtful is
leaving it at that stage. This is when you need to put in work. It is the time
to remind yourself how important what you share with your partner is.
People are quick to settle in relationship forgetting how much work it took to get it to that place. The lady is yours now but it doesn't mean you should stop impressing her. Don't be so lazy in love assuming things are alright.
You need to also ask yourself why you are with your partner. What do you miss
about him/her? Consciously create time
to do things together. Go out more and have fun together. Create unforgettable memories together.Seek new adventures.
If you don’t enjoy doing the same things try and meet in the
middle. If he loves hanging out with friends and you love movies. You can go
see a movie and hang out after. Don’t be rigid or selfish in your plans. You both
need to learn to sacrifice. Her happiness should mean a lot to you and vice versa.
Don’t allow the void get deeper than it already has. Communicate your fears
with your partner and rediscover the love you share.
Be mindful of distractions, don’t allow another person come
in between you two. The least you need is someone that makes you feel like the
situation is worse than it is.
The void might also mean it is time to move on. You might
just be holding on to an already ended relationship. If after sharing your
fears with your partner, things are still the same way, then it is time to move
on. Love doesn't have to be such a struggle.
If you are married however, see a counselor. Divorce isn't a pleasant option, your vows should be taken seriously.At times, things are not as bad if the communication is good.
Just don't give up without trying.
Stay blessed.
PhotoCredit: yourtango.com
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