Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Five Reasons Some Men Can't Commit

Commitment phobia has to be one of the most common phobias in the world. Many men under the age of 30 dread the idea of getting married, settling down, having a family and sticking to what will eventually become a routine for the rest of their lives. I have often wondered why men and women of the same age do not share the same views about commitment; I mean I hardly meet men who are looking forward to meeting 'the one' at 25, and even when they edge closer to their 30s, they are still on shaky ground. Should I? Should I not? The questions play in their heads like an endless game of ping pong. Below are five reasons some men find it hard to commit to anyone.

1.) Their friends are yet to commit: Many people tend to think women are highly influenced by their friends, but my research has shown that when it comes to commitment issues, men are influenced by their peers without really knowing it. Many men only start to consider marriage when a member of their clique starts to take a woman seriously. Of course they will tease and taunt him at first but it's only a matter of time before they start wondering if they shouldn't take the same step. So it is likely that a man whose friends still see commitment as a joke will share the same views and will not consider a permanent commitment anytime soon.

2.) They love the field: No matter how hard you try or what you say, some men still get an ego boost from playing the field. They enjoy having multiple partners, discarding them at will and simply having what I can only term a field-sexual experience. Men who love the field hardly commit to one girl; they see it as a 'diss' on their 'player status'. Sadly, women believe they can change men. It is impossible to change a man without him wanting to change himself. So if he's into playing the field, there is no guarantee he will commit to you or anyone for that matter.

3.) They are nonchalant: Men who possess a nonchalant attitude towards individuality and respect will end up breaking relationships just because they can. These are often men who seek to control their partners, men who are too into themselves to care much about anyone else, and men who who cannot resolve conflict. These are the men who threaten their partners with a breakup over every little argument they have, because they are not interested in the relationship. They are interested in themselves. They pride themselves as men who do not take nonsense from anyone, and for them nonsense includes a healthy argument, a disagreement regarding their behaviour and basically anything else that challenges them.

4.) They are downright immature: It doesn't matter how hard you try, an immature man  is an immature man. Immature men are very unlikely to commit, and those who do eventually start longing for 'freedom'. When it comes to commitment, immature men are the men who believe they are doing women a favour by being with them. They do not understand marriage as a mutual commitment; rather they believe marriage is an inconvenience. Owing to this fact, immature men tend to remind their partners of how much they have done for them, or in an attempt at reverse psychology blame their partners for not being as good as they are.

5.)They objectify women: This is pretty common these days, especially amongst men who happen to earn a little above average. These men are constantly looking for women to use and to rule. They get bored easily and are constantly in search of a 'new toy'. These are men who do not believe in the individuality of women, and therefore find themselves constantly trying to mould women into their own image. sadly, when these women succumb to their strengths, they get bored and move on. Men who objectify women are always looking to break women, so they get bored when that thrill of breaking a person's spirit is gone. Men like this hardly ever commit, and if they do, they ensure there are a string of other partners waiting just to take the place of their spouse.

There are other reasons why men will not commit. Some are scared because they feel they are not good enough, will not make good husbands, or good fathers, and some are terrified of the thought of having to share their lives with someone else. As a man, it is important to understand that shortcomings can be worked on to make you a better individual. You don not have to be perfect to commit. You just have to be willing to be who your partner needs you to be.
XOXO

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