Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Getting Married Is Not All That Matters

I cleaned up after the last guest we had over at the house. It had been a very busy and delightful weekend, we had a reunion of some sorts with friends and acquaintances thereby turning the dinner table into a roundtable for discussing several topics ranging from politics to relationships. Of course there were lots of differing opinions, I recall we all didn’t seem to agree on the reasons why people should get married.

I am not always a leftist but there are times I am not scared of having a totally different opinion. See, lots of times people feel pressured to settle down. One is constantly harassed with loads of who and when whenever one attends family functions. I remembered reminding someone I used to know to cut herself some slack, she’s 27 at the time and all the calls she got from her mum was just premised on settling down. If one is having a bad day, people just link it all back to one being unmarried. The pressure really does get so much that one starts seeing everyone that says ‘hi’ as a potential suitor without the poor guy’s knowledge. One is forced to send prayer requests to every church one knows and every night is spent looking up to God for the man that would put a ring on it. One almost starts to wonder if one is not pretty enough or accessible enough.

Everyone becomes a relationship expert giving one opinions on what and whys. It doesn’t matter that one doesn’t find whoever comes physically attractive, one is subtly told one doesn’t have much choice. You can’t even say he cheated on you, you would hear things like everyman cheats long as he has apologized. Who said you could preach faith when the man that showed some interest insists on you getting pregnant before you can get married. They tell you after all he is going to be your husband so why not do what he wants or you want to miss out on this chance again?

Why is it that marriage has suddenly become the number one purpose in a woman’s life so much so that nothing else matters? Has marriage suddenly become the solution to all things?  If one doesn’t get married, is it going to be the end of the world?

I believe everyone deserves to be happy and much as marriage can bring about more happiness, don’t compromise the happiness you already have for the change in status. It is true you are not getting younger but you will be more miserable if after you get married to that person you weren’t so sure about, things take a negative turn.

I remember how everyone kept trying to matchmake someone I know because they felt she needed to settle down. She tried to make them understand then that those dates they were suggesting weren’t up to her standard and they would turn their noses up like she wasn’t expected to have standards at all, she finally found who she was looking for and she has been able to prove everyone wrong.

My point is marriage is desirable but it shouldn’t be rushed into. If you think you are getting too old then you might want to think how long forever is. Is your age enough reason to be miserable in marriage? Think twice. It is your life, don’t live it based on people’s opinions and pressure.



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