Monday, August 17, 2015

Don't Find Love AFTER Marriage

I have heard many horror stories of marriages ending before they even had a chance to begin, and many marriages being between man, wife and a third person who is ever present! Many people do not like to admit it but they spend most of their marriage regretting their choice. I have heard the statement "I wish I had waited a bit longer" way too often to know that marriage is not the perfect pictures people post on social media for us to see. Many people, at the time of their weddings are in love with someone else, and are still weighing their decisions as they walk down the aisle. For some people, it is a classic case of meeting the love of their life AFTER they've sealed the deal with someone else. and so for them, marriage becomes a necessary evil they must choose everyday, rather than a choice they want to make no matter how bad or ugly things may get. 

The problem is these days, many people marry the available and not the compatible. People rush into marriage like one would run to catch a departing bus, they barely understand what they are latching on to, nor do they know the destination. People believe that if a man is good, then he will be a good husband; and if a woman is decent, she will be the best wife. The emotional connection necessary to make the relationship wholesome is missing, but many people jump in anyway. Few years into it, they meet someone that makes their heart stop, and makes them feel like they have never experienced happiness. They find love after marriage, and my my! It hurts like hell!

How do you explain to the spouse who put so much faith in you that he or she is not the love of your life? How do you explain that you made your choice based on facts presented to you like a judge would rule over a case- without any emotional attachment whatsoever? How do you explain that you have simply been ,mechanical all this while and now you feel childlike with someone else? Finding love somewhere else after sealing the deal of marriage is enough to break even the best people, so it's best you avoid it!

Be selfish about who you choose to marry! Contrary to what you may have been told, marriage is not a sacrificial commitment where your choice is based on how much you can do for the other person. Marriage is a commitment based on how much you can do for each other! Don't be blinded by your quest for nobility, and walk into a ditch! Selfishly make a choice to spend forever with someone who makes you genuinely happy! Someone whose quirks you understand, someone whose terrible manners irk you, but not enough to make you leave. Someone who makes you feel at peace with yourself everytime you close your eyes to think, pray or sleep, someone who makes you picture forever in your mind, and you actually like the picture you see. Don't get married to a person because she sings in the choir, or because he is quiet and reserved, hence you don't see him cheating in future. Marry the one that makes you laugh till your sides are sore and makes you feel their sadness like its yours. Marry a person you connect with physically, intellectually, psychologically AND emotionally! Let your heart leap for joy! Marriage is not just a spiritual contract between you, your spouse and God. It is an emotional contract too! Be sure you love the terms and conditions before you sign on the dotted line! XOXO

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