Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Don’t Leave Your Territory Unguarded!

hercampus.com

I have often wondered why good people end up stepping out of their marriages to seek adventure in the arms of someone else. By ‘good people’, I am referring to people who do not have a disposition to cheat, or feel cheating is justified in any way, yet they end up in the arms of someone else, discussing their life’s issues and enjoying the attention they receive.

Last week, I watched Tyler Perry’s temptation; I watched it when it was first released at the cinemas and at that time, my attention was focused solely on the woman. She got tempted by a dark, tall and handsome stranger who waltzed into her life and gave her everything a girl could ever ask for – rides on private jets, designer clothes and shoes, a fancy apartment, money, the good life… the whole nine yards. That was my first understanding of the movie. However, when I watched it again last week, I realized that this woman was actually not dissatisfied because her husband could not give her the finer things in life; she was terribly unhappy because her husband left her unguarded. 

Many married couples take each other for better, for worse, and for granted after a little while. The compliments stop coming; the words of assurance are forcefully offered; birthdays are forgotten, anniversaries are just another day; gifts seize, and well, the spouse becomes another fixture in the home. Romance is lost, and the relationship is nothing more than functional. Then someone comes along and gives all the attention you are not giving. No, it might not even be someone who’s richer; attention is more than enough for most people. You might even find that your spouse is the one with the financial resources in the illicit relationship. 

Stop taking your spouse for granted! Marriage is meant to be functional, but that does not mean it should lose its spark. A compliment here and there will not break your tongue; words of assurance offered to your spouse will not reduce your identity; thoughtful gifts do not have to break your bank account. Sex does not have to be just another encounter. You need to spice things up. You need to guard your territory, and guard it with all you have, not by throwing jealous rages but by continuously expressing your love for your spouse. 

Plan a trip for you and your spouse; plan a project you can both get involved in; take a class together; plan movie nights just for you both. Tell your spouse how good they look; notice new shirts and new hairstyles. Spend quality time together talking and laughing. Give gifts often, even when it is not a special day. Be more involved in your spouse’s life; invest in your partner. These seemingly small gestures make a big difference when a stranger tries to invade your territory. If you don’t guard your spouse, you’re leaving him or her open to invasion. At that point, it’s not about whether or not your spouse is a good person; it’s about the need to be appreciated and loved. XOXO

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