Thursday, February 4, 2016

Finding the Perfect Balance for You and Your Partner.

I believe the key to a healthy relationship besides having the right mindset and the right attitude towards relationships as a whole, is learning to find the balance that works for you and your partner. Truly, there are set rules in love and life that can help build a good foundation, but bear in mind that it is of utmost importance that you both write your own rules as partners and stick to them. 

Many people believe in relationships run like organizations, where the level of efficiency is just flawless. Each person is aware of the role they have to play and they play it effectively without any complaints, emotional outbursts of frustration or even the urge to try something new. For others, they want relationships where whoever is available does the needful. These relationships are not your organization-styled type of unions, but for some people, they work. For some people, long-distance relationships are absolutely perfect. They see no need to live in the same city as their partner, while for others, being in close proximity to their partners as often as possible is of high importance. The question you should ask yourself is “what kind of relationship do I want to be in?” 
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There is no right or wrong when it comes to finding what works for you and your partner. What is most important is that you learn a lot about each other to find that balance. I recently glanced through an article where a man’s wife divorced him because he continuously left his dishes in the sink after eating, and could not for the love of his life clean up after himself. It became very clear from reading that article that having a partner who respects her time, energy and schedule was highly important to that woman. She needed a man who understood the need to clean up after himself and could not bear to be with one who could not be bothered. I don’t know if she raised the issue with him countless times, but evidently, from the tone of that article, they were unable to find a balance.

The sad thing about relationships these days is that people are being taught to compromise much more than they are being taught to appreciate and respect. People are being told what their relationships should be like, the milestones they should reach at certain times, and the objectives they should set as a couple. My advice? Throw all of that out. Sit together and map out your own objectives and future milestones; discuss your own model of a relationship and stick to it. Sit together and write your own rules. Build a relationship that works for you and makes you happy, rather than a relationship that pleases societal nodes but makes you deliriously miserable. 

The balance of your relationship lies in understanding the uniqueness of your partner and working together to align your strengths and weaknesses in such a way that it results in a healthy union. Don’t let your model be based on what everyone else is saying it should be. Let your model be based on what ensures you are truly happy in your union. To have a healthy relationship, your happiness is key. Find your own balance.

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