Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Are You Always the Female Bestie? Here's How to 'Unbox' Yourself

If you've always been that chic who's in the friend zone with no hopes of getting out of it, this post is for you. I can only imagine the frustration you feel when you start to like a guy, and he gives you a high-five or thumps you on the back and calls you the coolest girl he has ever met, and every guy's dream female bestie... I mean there is something terribly wrong with that picture and I am going to tell you in simple terms how to go from dream bestie to dream girlfriend. 

#1 Stop acting like one of his boys: So a guy you like comes to you to tell you about the 101 girls he can't stop thinking about, and to show you are not the jealous kind, you listen, encourage and laugh at his lewd comments, with the hope that he will see you are better than those other skirts? Time for a change. Firstly, stop acting like one of his boys. Stop laughing and encouraging. In fact, start looking disinterested when he goes on for more than five minutes. Start looking at something that's not there or fake a phone call... whatever you do, don't encourage that kind of conversation. He speaks to you that way because he sees you as a best friend. 

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#2 Stop hanging out with him so much: Many ladies tend to think a man will start to see them in a different light when they spend time with him, only to discover his thoughts are mostly focused on a chic he sees once in a blue moon. I mean some guys have their minds fixated on Nicki Minaj so... you know Bug's your uncle. Whatchu gonna do? The point here is you need to give a guy some time to miss you, especially if you like him! And there is no way he will miss you if you are ever-there, and ever-ready with your listening ear. Nah... you'll be his bestie and he won't see anything you want him to see besides the fact that you're that female friend who will be the best wife to someone else but him. 

#3 Stop shooting down guys in front of him: Am I saying you should make him jealous? Not in so many words. Hehe! But do you get the gist? I hope so. I have seen ladies treat other men badly and speak ill of other men in the hopes that their male besties will notice they are interested in no one else but them. If you have been doing this, then I suggest you call it quits now. You either speak well of your suitors or you keep your mouth shut. If you keep dissing your suitors, the message you're sending out is that you attract low quality men, and that indirectly affects how your male bestie perceives you - as the lady who's either not worth it, or who the forces of nature seem to be working against. Whichever way, you don't come off looking great. 

#4 Put some effort into your appearance: "I don't like girls who wear makeup", "I'm not a big fan of girls who put on weaves", "I just prefer natural beauty".... Yea... at some point, you've heard a guy say that and figured you should adjust to meet his standards. Wrong move girlie! Reset to default please and put some effort into it. Embrace the fact that you like makeup and long weaves. If it's your natural hair you love, own it and make it work, but most importantly put some effort into your appearance. Take your time to look good and smell great. You don't have to smell expensive; you just have to smell good. If you can appeal to his eyes, ears and nose, you are on your way out of the female bestie box! 

Goodluck and XOXO

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