Thursday, June 16, 2016

Correcting Your Spouse


Last year, my husband and I were leaving one morning for a three-day vacation. That morning, our car battery went dead and my husband jumped started the car using our neighbour's battery. 

I suggested respectfully that we still have time to go by the store and buy a new one and he said, "no, we will be fine" (a few years ago, I would have insisted). I decided to respect his decision and we continued out journey. 

We stopped on the way to use the ATM machine so we are not cash trapped on our trip. When my husband tried to start the car again - the battery was dead. A few years ago I am sure I would have berated him with an "I told you to replace that battery lecture and a lot of attitude", but I have learned to respect his decisions, so I didn't say anything. I was totally calm and at peace.

Correcting your spouse is something you have to do whether you want to or not because there are somethings you want done rightly and in a particular manner but the way you correct his/her mistakes matter. 
  • Have you ever hated the way your spouse corrects your mistakes even in public, believe me it's always not funny? 
  • How do you correct your spouse when his speed limit is too much, or when they keep late nights, or when they forget your birthday/anniversary dates or when they can't find the car keys when you are in a hurry or when your food is not ready when you are dead hungry? 
  • Do you rebuke each other publicly or escalate small issues that should have been sorted amicably between you two? 
You correct your spouse because you want to make them a better person not make them feel irrelevant and less of themselves for their mistakes. We all have a limit to which our patience can be tested before we bust out but this can be managed if we address the issue calmly and not over-react (we do this in most cases). You need not shout when cautioning your spouse or caution them the way their parents will because this will worsen the situation. 

Using a mild and subtle voice like "Honey, I know you forgot to tidy up our room and you know I don't like clothes hanging around", she already got the message that she needs to clean room. You don't have to sound like "Honey, why didn't you clean the room or how many times do I have to repeat the same thing". You are not correcting her this way but insulting her and reducing her self-esteem. 

I had a conversation with few friends and five men out of them said they made a mistake teaching their wives how to drive. They said their wives didn't heed to corrections during the driving lesson but they shouted at them every time they tried correcting her driving skills and this frustrated their efforts as husbands.......Wives, do you agree with this?

Correcting each other should not be a difficult task, some of us will rather report our spouses to family members, friends or relatives to talk to them, this act escalates the issue that should have been resolved amicably between two of you which is now been resolved by five to ten people. 

Correcting your spouse should be much fun and less stressful if you handle the situation calmly. It's something you two can laugh over and not make it seem serious like a school assignment.

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