Monday, June 20, 2016

What Does Equality in Marriage Really Mean?

It appears the issue of equality in marriage will forever be an issue of contention between men and women. How can women be speaking of equality in marriage when men are clearly stated in the bible as the heads of their homes? Are women trying to take on the roles of their husbands? Or are they simply trying to shirk their God-given domestic responsibilities by trying to enforce this new crazy wave of equality? What does it mean when your wife starts to push for equality in your marriage? Has she gone nuts or is she trying to take the piss? 

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Let me state first and foremost that I believe God is the only true head of every home, A home built on the foundation of societal perceptions and expectations will eventually crumble. Culture seems like a good chain of chastisement and order until it rears its ugly bottom and turns everything upside-down. Societal expectations seem right on paper until you are in the boat and you suddenly realize you are dealing with a human being who is fallible and prone to reprogramming unlike a cell phone app. What am I saying? Even Google maps sometimes takes me to destinations that make me cry...cos you know... petrol is expensive. 

But let's get back to the point; God is the head  of the home, and equality is a factor that can help your marriage grow better and become an enjoyable journey rather an a necessary evil. Think about it. Just take a second to think about what equality in your marriage means. It means consulting each other before making major decisions (i.e. you cannot accept a promotion at work that takes you to a different country without first discussing it with your wife; and by discussing, I mean actually listening to her inputs and trying to meet her halfway. The same applies to women). Equality in marriage means putting yourself in your spouse's shoes and treating your spouse the way you'd treat yourself, or at least the way you'd like to be treated. Equality means sharing everything with each other, and that includes the unpleasant domestic chores, the screaming babies and the days of prayers and fasting. Why is it difficult to accept?

Many men and women have the wrong understanding of what equality in marriage means. Some women believe it is about taking over and laying down the law. Some men believe they have to flex their muscles to lead. Neither path leads to joy so spare yourself the pain. As equal partners in marriage, you recognize only one true leadership and that is Jesus Christ. Your decisions, lifestyle and even the way you approach the things that should be done around the home is based on the example of Christ- a leader who gave himself in love for the salvation of others. If you both have this attitude and understanding, equality will not be a topic for discussion or argument, it will be a conviction you both live by without being told, and that is how love will flourish. 

What is your understanding of equality in marriage? Do share. XOXO


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