Saturday, August 20, 2016

5 Marital Lies You Might Have Believed

Some marriages might have survived if the people involved in them got married with the right orientation. There are many misconceptions about marriage and some of them have been said so much that we have become conditioned to believe them. Asides from being misleading, some of these misconceptions can have dire consequences if left unchecked. Many marriages crash because of such unattainable assumptions. 

Below is a list of lies we believe.


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If someone loves you, the person wouldn’t hurt you: People we love the most are the ones capable of hurting us. We are not perfect beings and so we err sometimes. There are times we hurt the ones we love not because we intend to, but more because of our human nature. 

Marriage thrives on open mindedness and forgiveness but if we have conditioned ourselves to not make room for any kind of mistake, it becomes really hard to forgive. As controversial as this may sound, I believe a marriage can survive grave offences such as infidelity depending on the circumstances. You just need to understand that making mistakes doesn’t automatically mean that your spouse loves you less.

You can change your spouse: Love sometimes make us go into the superhuman mode. We find ourselves taking on projects that are sometimes futile. We assume that love would automatically erase habits that have been formed by our proposed spouse over a long period of time. More often than not, we find that this isn’t true. Habits are very hard to break and it is better for one to not go ahead with a marriage if it is one that one cannot cope with. This doesn’t mean that people don’t change at all but it isn’t guaranteed. Change also doesn’t become achieved by constant ranting and nagging.
Your happiness is all that matters: If you want to listen to really loud music in a room full of people, it would be better if you used a headset, that way you have access your loud music and nobody gets disturbed. This is a lot like what happens in relationships too. There are times you do things so that you can both derive a good result in doing said thing. Your happiness really matters but so does the happiness of your partner. Many times you will find that there is more happiness in being able to reach a compromise.

Your wife is going nowhere after marriage: this is mostly directed at the men. Many of them are guilty of giving less affection and attention to their wives after marriage. This is really wrong. Many women who have been unfaithful in their marriages did so because of lack of attention from their husbands. Men need to learn to stay sweet and romantic even after many years of marriage.

All men are the same: this has become so cliché. All men are not the same. Don’t judge your relationship using someone else’s yardstick. Allow yourself the beauty of your own experience and there are still good man out there.

Stay blessed.

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