Monday, August 29, 2016

Drop the Dead Weight of Exes


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If there is one thing many people struggle with after a seemingly good relationship ends, it is moving on. By moving on, I don't necessarily mean moving on to a new relationship. Many people move to new relationships without really moving on from their last relationship. By moving on, I mean leaving whatever hurt, whatever worked, and the hope that things might be restored at some point behind. Unfortunately this is easier said than done.

Moving on completely is difficult because an ex is like a comfort zone. Many people keep hoping for their relationships with their exes to be restored for two simple reasons: 1.) they believe they cannot connect with anyone else as well as they did with their ex and 2.) they believe erroneously that they are not good enough for anyone else. More often than not, when a relationship ends, people go through feelings of inadequacy where they tend to blame themselves for everything that went wrong. Even in occasions where they blame the other person, they still hope for emotional restitution. What happens with these people is that they keep checking in on their exes, hoping for the perfect opportunity to swoop in and regain their relationship. Sometimes there are no plans to swoop in; rather there is hope that their ex will realize the big mistake ending the relationship was, and come running back...just like in Telemundo. If wishes were horses....

If you intend to be happy, to discover who you are, what you are capable of doing and the amazing relationship opportunities that await you, then you have to drop the dead weight of your ex. You need to step checking on your ex to see how far he or she has gone in life; you need to stop getting depressed because you can't seen to find anyone new and your ex has moved on to two or three new people. You need to stop looking back and wondering about what could have been. If it should have been, it would have, but it isn't, why punish yourself? It is sad when relationships end, but the end of a relationship is not the end of 'lovability'. There is someone else out there who will stick with you through thick and thin. However to meet that person, to see how much that person cares, to let yourself receive love, you must stop carrying the dead weight of your ex around. It's hurting your life and it's not worth it. Go on! Open yourself to new possibilities!

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