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I have heard it so many times - the "she's not wife material" and "he's not husband material" excuse. It appears everyone is hunting for a particular type of material which brings up many questions in my head. What makes a person wife material or husband material? Where did this ideology come from and why do we believe in it so much?
I have met many married wife materials and their husbands who are enduring their relationships and not exactly enjoying them. I have met many husband materials and their wives who are on the brink of divorce and starting to develop bitterness towards one another. If the wife/husband material myth was meant to bring perfect marriages, what then is going wrong? Why are many wife and husband materials abused in their relationships? Why are they unhappy? Why do they lack fulfillment? It's because the idea of husband/wife material as we see it is a flawed one that has resulted in many wrong marriage decisions.
The idea of a person being a wife or husband material stems from a rule of qualities that person is expected to have. E.g. A wife material should be submissive, respectful, be able to keep the home together, be prayerful, be able to bite her tongue when necessary, be a great cook and domestic house chores type of person...the list goes on. A husband material should earn more than his wife, be more educated than she is, take the responsibility of her well-being upon himself...again the list goes on. Now there is nothing wrong with the list if it is in line with what YOU as an individual can live with. However, you must bear in mind that these list of qualities suggest that perfection is required to build a happy marriage. I can tell you now that that is so not true. The fact that a person is perfect on paper does not mean he or she will make a great partner. Building a great relationship is actually more dependent on chemistry than a checklist.
