I have often wondered what it is about some couples that just makes me wish for marriage. I mean I have met a whole lot of couples that made me think "Hmmm... maybe not", but I have also met some who made me wonder for days how they have managed to keep the spark alive after decades of being married. Many people are quick to point at the fact that they married their best friends, and you know, all the other ideals we have managed to internalize. I have recently uncovered a secret to lasting marriages from my married friends, and that is the importance of dating. It sounds so simple, and to some people, it may be regarded as frivolous and unnecessary, but from my research, I have realized that married couples who date each other tend to have better, more lively marriages.
It is very tempting to simply go with the flow in marriage. It is tempting to resign yourself to routine, and it is very very tempting to not bother about your appearance. Afterall, your partner is not with you for your looks; they are there for the inner beauty. That's true; I mean any relationship that's intended for the long haul cannot rely simply on good looks and attracvtiveness. But at the same time, relationships are not only emotional in nature, they are physical too, so being attractive is key. Given the temptation to go with the flow in marriage, many couples become bored, and start to lose their intimacy because the only time they interact is when they have to do practical marriage/family stuff.
Make time for dates! I don't mean have date nights every week. I mean have time away from home, and from the children every now and then. If you're so busy, you have to schedule it, make it once a month, but do not undermine what dating your spouse can do for you. Dating generally makes people want to be more attractive. It makes them put some effort into their appearnce; it can recreate fond memories of when the relationship was still new, and definitely remind the spouses of their spark. Weekends away, trying out new restaurants, Karaoke bars and so on can add a lot of spice to a marriage, and make it less of a 'necessary bother' that must be tolerated. I think many married couples don't date anymore because it is rather unnecessary to date someone you already have right? Well, it is necessary! Dating your spouse means you will constantly renew your relationship! You will discover more about your spouse, and you will grow together in love, admiration and appreciation.
