Thursday, January 20, 2011

Should your siblings stay with you when you are married? - Part 2

Cont’d from last blog. – Read last blog
I will like to share some of the realities that you will face now that you are married and a sibling wants to stay with you.
1.       When you get married to your spouse, you need to embrace your spouse’s family. However family will be defined by the spouse. However, both of you need to know that not every family member need be embraced. Relationships need to be defined and mutually considered and agreed within reasonable boundaries
2.       If the man’s siblings have to stay in the house, the man has to explain to his siblings that all must know that the woman (wife) is the head of the home. The siblings do not have a right to go into the kitchen to cook any other dish apart from the stated family menu without the consent of the woman.
3.       The man’s siblings need to respect the woman of the house even if she is younger than the siblings. It is her home.
4.       The woman must realize that with the power comes responsibility. She should not use this power to manipulate or oppress the man’s siblings. Do not give the siblings the remains after the main dish has been served. They should eat what has been prepared for the family.
5.       The siblings MUST partake in taking care of the household chores without being told. The sibling should also not see the stay as living in a hotel. They should offer to cook, iron clothes, wash the car and actually do these chores if allowed. Now be prepared that the wife may not want you (the sibling) to increase your relevance in the house so that she has to depend on you. But persist. Make yourself relevant so that she does not feel that you are a “layabout”.
6.       Siblings must realize that the rules applicable in the house apply to them too. E.g. curfew; e.t.c
7.       The couple should discuss the increase in household expenses due to the extra person staying in the house. The Head of the house should realise that there would be increase in cost and therefore provide for this increase. i.e. Cornflakes, sugar, chocolate e.t.c
8.       Lastly, as much as possible, all parties must try and make the stay as brief as possible but within considerable limits. It helps all parties involved.
I will end with the same closing remarks that we must be prepared for any eventuality and we must realize that anything can happen but let God take control. 

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