Saturday, March 30, 2013

Teaching Children The True Meaning Of Easter

Easter is here and the kids are on holiday and they have probably performed the play and read the story. My daughter is only 16 months but I sometimes wonder how I am going to explain the death and resurrection of Christ to her when the time comes.  Luckily we are in Nigeria so I don't have to bother about the her thinking Easter is all about the Easter bunny and Easter eggs like it was for me as a child. The focus is the slightly complicated resurrection story-the TRUE Easter story.

Teaching children about Easter is something we as parents might be tempted to neglect because of the brutality of the crucifixion. Anyone who has studied the events of that Friday before Easter or who has seen the movie "The Passion" knows that it isn't for the weak spirited, but also knows the tremendous sacrifice Jesus made for us.

However, children must begin to understand the events of Easter in order to understand the true worth of salvation and faith in Christ. To do this, we start at the beginning, teaching at the child’s level of understanding.

Choose a time when you and your child can have ‘quiet time’ together. Read together Mark 14:32-41. Notice how Jesus knew what was going to happen and He knew that it would be very hard. He was very close to His Father, God, and He spoke plainly about how He felt. Jesus was very sad but He wanted to do what God wanted Him to do.

The Act of Betrayal in a Relationship

Wikipedia describes "Betrayal" thus

Betrayal (or backstabbing) is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals, between organizations or between individuals and organizations.

There is an element of trust in every relationship; whether with your spouse, your friend, your colleague or your organisation.  It is very important that that trust is closely guarded and not misused.

When Trust is violated, it has its consequences. Often people take it so lightly, they do not know it is a serious crime. When a spouse betrays the trust of the other partner by committing fornication or  adultery, there is a consequence. When a friend goes around telling tales about his friend behind his back, there is a consequence. When an employee sells important information about his company to a competitor in exchange for cash or reward, there is a consequence. When an employee betrays his boss by spreading rumours, there is a consequence.

Friday, March 29, 2013

You're Saying What You're not Saying - Non Verbal Communication

Ever taken note of the look on your wife's face after you've asked for your screwdriver for the fifth time that week or the body language of your teenager after you've asked him to clean his room with a juicy incentive attached (suddenly he's not so tired and the speed and precision with which the shoes are arranged in order of size and color seems effortless with a quirky smile to top it up).

Or when your wife's colleague is like "You've added weight? Why do you look so tired?'. (Not really a question, just a beyond rude observation no one should ever make.)

“Actually, me and hubby were up kind of late last night. But it was sooo worth it.” (Follow up with the best If-you-know-what-I-mean face.)

With pursed lips and arched eyebrows hubby is rummaging through the toolbox... "Dear, the spanner is in the drawer BESIDE the toolbox. You put it there because you always say you use it often and it shouldn't be with the tools you use less frequently. Remember?" (I have a special eye roll for that one) 

True Love.......He gave His life for Us

I often wonder whether humanity is worth the trouble. To leave your exalted throne, come down to earth and take on the body suit of man; and then die for someone who did not know why you died for him.

This is a great sacrifice and thankfully, Christians have now set aside a day to remember Jesus Christ's sacrifice on the cross. When you indeed consider the stripes on His back; the ignominy of being hung on the cross to die like a thief, it was a great sacrifice.

He died for you and me. Set apart time today to remember this. All you have to do is appreciate Him for what He did for us and get born again (that is, if you have not). For those who have, spread the word in your deeds and your words.

He died for mankind......

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Will There Be Marriage And Sex In Heaven? - Jack Wellman

Will there be sex in heaven? What will the roles of men and women who have husbands and wives in heaven be? Will they still be married?

Like the Angels

Jesus addressed this question when the Sadducees asked him about whether there will still be marriages in heaven and whether they will still be married. One thing that I learned is that the Sadducees did not believe in the resurrection but the Pharisees did. There is an easy way to remember who did and who did not believe in the resurrection among the religious leaders. The Sadducees did not and so they were “sad, you see” but the Pharisees did because they could see “far, you see.” I know it sounds silly, but it helps me to remember who believed and who didn’t believe in the resurrection.

The Sadducees were trying to trick Jesus when they asked, “Teacher,” they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and have children for him. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her” (Matthew 12:19-23)? What did Jesus say? He stated that, “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 12:25). This does not mean that we will have wings like the angels for not all angels have wings. This means that there will be neither marriages of one to another or that they will procreate (have children). The angels also do not marry nor do they bear children. Jesus said in Mark 12:25 that “When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” Jesus actually rebuked the Sadducees saying, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God” (Mark 12:24)?

The Art of Apology...For Men

“I’m sorry.” Two simple words and yet two of the hardest to say. We easily utter them in response to trivial matters like accidentally jostling a stranger on the subway or giving the cashier the wrong change. 

Yet in important matters and to those who mean the most to us, we can find ourselves practically choking on the words. But the inability to apologize can critically wound all of our relationships, from home to work. Learning how to properly apologize is a necessary step in moving from boy to man.

Why We Don’t Apologize

Pride. Apologizing can be particularly hard for men because it involves the admittance of fault. It’s hard to say that we messed up. That we were wrong. Our pride gets in the way.

Embarrassment. If we messed up royally, doing something truly boneheaded even though we knew better, it can be difficult to talk about it to the person we hurt or let down. We feel stupid and would rather pretend like it didn't happen.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

What do Men Really Want in a Wife? - Mary Kassian

“What do you want in a wife?” I questioned a variety of the guys wandering the halls at my church one Sunday. Their answers were as varied as their ages.
  • The 7-year-old: “Girls? Ew….. but wait – can she make chocolate chip cookies like my mom?”
  • The 13-year-old: “She has to be hot. But in, like, a nice way, ya know?”
  • The 18-year-old: “My future wife…. hmmmm…. same beliefs, beautiful, funny, sweet, smart – but not a know-it-all, great personality, and I like long hair!”
  • The 24-year-old: “Integrity, adventurous, trustworthy, and fun. The kind of woman that I would want my daughters to grow up to be.”
  • The 31-year-old: “I’m looking for a partner, a woman who will share in my passion for life, ministry and children. Obviously, she would have to be committed to raising a family – that is huge for me.”

They’re looking for good mom-material

According to Pew Research Center, the men of the Millennial Generation (those born after 1980 and into early 2000) are looking to marry a girl who will make good mothers for their future children. When asked to rank education, income, housekeeping skills, sexual intimacy, caring personality, family, and motherhood, 93% of Millennial men picked “a good mother” as number one.

What Did You Do With Your Wedding Rings?

Why don't you wear your wedding ring anymore?
So, after the engagement she stared at the ring every 5 minutes and woke up in the middle of the night severally, just to catch a glimpse. Your fiance would catch you looking at your hand and be like "what's wrong?" But what could be wrong when you have an everlasting symbol of his love and devotion for you (or seriousness)? He had it custom made for by a goldsmith. White gold trellis setting, with a .6 carat Canadian diamond as the centre stone, with pink sapphire side stones (because you're an absolute girly-girl and love anything PINK).

Fast forward a few months or a few years down the line and then comes the wedding band not as sparkly as its predecessor but with an even heavier message attached to it: and this time, BOTH of you have one "I am taken, permanently." I have made vows, so keep off!" or a dreamy message for others "The ring encircles my finger as my partner's love encircles me."

I am always puzzled by married people who consistently choose not to wear their wedding rings. The excuses typically communicated are “people know I’m married” or “the ring is just a piece of jewelry and doesn't define my marriage.”

Prosperity Is The Result Of A Good Working Covenant Relationship With God

When you consider the lives of several great men in the Bible, you would realise that they had a good working relationship with God. And it was evident in their lives for all to see. 

Consider Abraham. The Bible says of Him in James 2:23 (NIV) that "And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend." Genesis 13:2 records that "Abram had become very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold." 

Also Consider DavidThe Bible also states in Acts 13:22 (NIV) that "After removing Saul, he made David their king. God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’" 1 Chronicle 22:14 shows how rich He was - "Now, behold, in my trouble I have prepared for the house of the LORD an hundred thousand talents of gold, and a thousand thousand talents of silver; and of brass and iron without weight; for it is in abundance: timber also and stone have I prepared; and thou mayest add thereto."

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Loving One Another

If we truly loved one another, we would have perfect family unity. Just imagine it! Hard to visualize isn’t it! We might even say it is impossible. To love someone is to have profound, tender, passionate affection for them. This would describe the love that couples should have for one another. Love can also be a personal attachment or bond, such as a very good friend, or a loved pet. Let’s consider first things first. The greatest love of all. We know that Jesus loved us unconditionally. That means that despite our sinfulness, He laid His life down to give us an eternal future in His family. He had the big picture even though we hadn't been thought of yet. He wanted us to become His children so He overlooked the wrong we were going to do, and offered us His love and the freedom that came with His incredible sacrifice. Even now, we know that He doesn't always like the things we do, but He values us as individuals. He prefers to see the good in us and forgives our wrongdoing once we confess it. He is our ultimate example. He wants us to look at others as He sees them – with forgiveness, patience and because we are family. 

How Do You Feel Now? The Truth About Feelings

A man who lost his iPad has been receiving pictures that have been taken on it since the tablet went missing.

The woman now in possession of the iPad has been taking silly photos of herself, seemingly unaware that the tablet's real owner Allen Engstrom is able to see the images on his iPhone, thanks to iCloud.

The iCloud feature syncs data across more than one Apple device. Engstrom has been posting the pictures on his Facebook and Twitter pages to entertain his friends and followers, but also in the hope that someone will recognise the woman and help him get his iPad back. He told KTHV: "I have no problem with putting it on Facebook, because hey, it's fun for me and it's apparently fun for a lot of other people and there's always the chance that someone will say, 'hey, I know who that is'."

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Separate Bedrooms in Marriage?

I came across a survey which revealed that 24 percent off married couples slept alone. The question is, will separate bedrooms save or destroy your marriage?

Oh no! But what would happen to those precious moments before sleep for cuddling and talking. For many couples, it's the only time of the hectic day that they are in the same room without other people.

I can already hear some of you quoting "What God has joined together..." But consider insomnia, temperature of the room, to cuddle or not to cuddle, bed size, firmness of bed, preferred side, windows open or closed, sleeping with children or pets, sleepwalking etc

Friday, March 22, 2013

Do I Have to Support My In-Laws Financially?

Is it my husband's responsibility to take care of my siblings?

Does one spouse have the right to give money to parents even if the other strongly objects? Do parents have a right to expect financial support from kids, as payback for all they have done throughout life?

These questions have aroused a lot of discourse. The question of whether a married man or woman should should support his in-laws financially can be a dicey one.

The communal way of life that characterised African society in the past means that it is our culture to take care of our elderly parents and help them with their respnsibilities. 

Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Amazing Story of Madiba : His Plans For Us Are Good

When Nelson Mandela became president in 1994 after 27 years in prison while being amazed,  I was either too young, too busy, in the wrong country or too focused on other things to truly absorb his story. That changed last weekend when I happened upon an old documentary in which he recounted his life experiences and the events that led up to him becoming activist, president, Noble prize laureate, honorary degrees from more than 50 international universities and is chancellor of the University of the North, His birthday, July 18, has been declared Mandela Day, a global celebration of his legacy.

I realise as I write this, I am almost 40 years behind, but I also know there is a right time for everything, and I needed this story now, because it clicked into place a piece of jigsaw I was toying with, but not quite knowing where it fit.

His full name is Nelson "Rolihlahla" Mandela in the language of Xhosa literally means "pulling the branch of a tree," but more commonly means "troublemaker." (In later years he became known by his clan name, Madiba.)

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

6 Insanely Nice Things You Can say To Your Spouse or Anybody

When you're drowning you don't think, I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me. You just scream. I guess that's what the Psalmist meant when he said from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh. Words are powerful so let's put them to best use. I came across a list of some insanely nice things you can say to anybody that really made me think, so here is my list of 6 tiny but enormously kind things you can say that may change your spouse's or any person you feel needs the love of God's day—and (sometimes) even their way of looking at themselves.

1. "Take your time. I'm not in a hurry."
This one is great for the supermarket or anywhere else that involves really tired people trying their best, even as they fumble and flail. For example, the woman in front of you pays the cashier but then has to rifle through her overstuffed wallet to put away the change, then store the receipt, then mash the whole fat leather money accordion into her purse. She will usually complete this action with frantic fingers because she knows she's delaying the whole line; she knows everybody just wants to go home; Telling her to "Take your time. I'm not in rush" always sets off the same reaction: first, surprise (really? because everybody's in a rush...) and then a flash of sweet wide-open relief. You have just given somebody a three-minute holiday, not from the stress of life, but from the stress we put on ourselves.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Appreciate your mother-in-law...She gave birth to the Man of your Dreams

We most times complain about how our mothers-in-laws can be bitter. And how their attitude can be a terrible source of frustration for your husband as he will always be stuck in the middle. 

Not all mothers-in-laws are evil! Some can be sweet and loving. They cook for you and support your every decision, or they're simply glad you're a part of their life and leave you to get on with it.

If you truly love your husband, try and do everything in your power to get along with his mother. This is one woman you cannot just ignore and hope the problem goes away or she magically changes into a nice person. This is one situation where you must try and push yourself to forgive her for being annoying sometimes. Learn to communicate and work towards having a decent relationship with her.

Know that you would be someone else's mother-in-law someday. So treat her the way you would want to be treated. Remember the golden rule: Therefore all things whatever you would that men should do to you, do you even so to them - Matthew 7:12

Appreciate your mother-in-law today, after all she's the one that gave birth to the Man of your DREAM.

Coping With Miscarriage

Books, Web sites, even doctors gloss over the subject of miscarriage. What to Expect When You're Expecting, which finds space for questions like "Is it necessary to shave your pubic hair before labor?", devotes only a few pages to miscarriage. These resources don't prepare you for the grief, guilt, and self-doubt that take the place of excitement. And it would take a writer much better than I, to fully describe the physical and emotional experience.

Someone who has not gone through the loss of a pregnancy will find it very difficult to understand. The days, weeks, and months following a loss can be incredibly difficult and painful — even more so if it wasn't your first pregnancy loss, or if you carefully planned this pregnancy and thought you'd done everything "right." Or you may simply feel withdrawn and moody and unable to concentrate or sleep. If you told friends, colleagues or  family you were pregnant, you'll probably worry about announcing the turn of events and you may find even the most sincere expressions of sympathy difficult to take.

What To Do When Life Happens...

Evidently many of us have made mistakes either in our careers, relationships with our friends, parents, former significant others, spouses and even during the course of parenting but to one who is not headstrong, these seeming mistakes are only an opportunity to learn to do the right thing the right way and if it appears to be too late, the chance to warn others not to make the same mistakes, presents itself.

God permits us the possibility of development and equips us with all the talents necessary for us to fulfill the purpose for which He made us. One who is spiritually awakened is aware that whatever crosses his or her path is for his or her own good and development and it does not matter whether the experience bring joy or sorrow.

A man might be tempted to find a mistress because his marriage is on the brink of collapse or is just disinterested in his wife due to previous events. Enticement will always come, but it is my conviction that God has equipped man with the ability to overcome temptation, it is our choice to succumb. Succumbing to the temptation to use a wrong to deal with a preceding wrong, leads to utter chaos, as can be seen in the case of a wife slapping her husband because he upset her and him slamming her head against a wall in return, WW2, Hiroshima, Boko Haram etc-It displays a total lack of intellect and desire to please God.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Misconceptions About Marriage

Dreamy singles think it will make them happy; restless men and women think it will make them feel complete especially when they feel the "Time" has come. Many people hold a lot of misconceptions about marriage. The following are the five most popular cons that mar marriage.

I won’t be lonely

Being lonely or having company has nothing to do with getting married. Many loners remain so even after marriage. A long-suffering woman shared her woes, she said that though she was married, she was always lonely. “I never felt that we shared anything. When I spoke, he heard but never listened. On holidays, I never felt that we were together.” Those who are lonely and feel that marriage will be a solution, need to analyse and identify what they are really feeling.

Frequent passionate sex

The frequency and duration of sexual desire is dependent on libido, compatibility and harmony between both partners. Many partners, who have a deep-seated resentment for each other and are constantly bickering, are not engaging in frequent intimacy. Maybe they assume that marriage would satisfy their sexual needs, but given the nature of women especially, that only happens when other factors are in place. 

Thursday, March 14, 2013

What Would Make You Disrespect Your Husband?

At a salon one day. A lady just finished making hair when the husband came to meet her. With smiles on his face, he told the wife that her hair-do was fine and wanted to touch it. To my utmost surprise, she slapped the husband's hand away telling him that he's not ashamed to touch a hair that a man like him paid for. It was so embarrassing; in fact I was ashamed for the man. Some women can be so mean; just because her husband lost his job.

Another lady's experience goes like this:

As the manner of my church is, we went to evangelize God's word as instructed in the Holy Scriptures - and on getting to this flat, we saw a man doing his laundry outside his home. So we went to him and pleaded audience with him which he obliged.

During our interaction, his wife (who just got back from church) walked past us without any form of pleasantries. Then after some minutes, she came back out and spoke to her hubby rudely not minding our presence. For the life of me, I was taken aback - as the husband just stood there and watched her do her thing without a word or an action but instead went ahead and apologized on her behalf when she was through and went back into the house.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Get Me The Venison I Love - Pastor Poju Oyemade

“The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: and thou maintain my lot. The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; ye, I have a goodly heritage. I will bless the Lord who giveth me counsel....” (Psalm 16:5-6)

Relationships are based on Covenants. They have tenets which trigger diverse effects when engaged. We should understand the relationships we are involved in their covenant (terms and promises). With different people, there are different terms. For instance, the Bible instructs us to “honour our father and mother; and in doing so it will be well with thee and thou shall live long on the earth.” So, the parent-child/child-parent relationship is a covenant with significant terms which when adhered to brings specific blessing into your life. All relationships are loaded with various terms and blessings. They are covenants. Your ability to unlock the intelligence behind the covenant relationships you are engaged in will open your eyes to laws of life that yield great benefits.

Our relationship with God is also covenant based. There are numerous blessings awaiting anyone who will keep the conditions or demands of our covenant with Him. When we do, we will have deeper and richer experiences with Him. But just like it takes two to tango in every other relationship, God also expects us to fulfill our part.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places... Are You A Soldier Of Love?

She is crying, sobbing uncontrollably but you've been here with her a million times before, she is shaking her head and you vaguely make out the words " How could he do this to me? why does this keep happening?" A question you have tried to answer time and time again...Is she just destined to be as "Soldier of Love?" Mr. Right-on-time who is always there when you need a shoulder to cry on but emotionally detached once your over the last heartache and things seem to be getting deeper between you "I'm not ready for marriage..." then there was Mr. Let's attend every wedding, dinner and karaoke hand in hand and basically spend every moment together until my calls become few and far between .. don't forget Mr. Lets be friends with benefits and see how it goes" until you bump into someone holding a souvenir from his wedding.

It is a given that many ladies will seek true love, and yet finding it is not necessarily a sure thing. There are those who seek comfort and stability; others, delight in excitement and bask in the attention offered by a male cohort but the bottom line is that we are "nesters" looking for the right person, with whom to build a loving, comfortable nest.

The number of women that I come into contact with that, for whatever reason, find themselves single again and again after thinking this is Mr.Right is astounding. The worst part is that they have to cry it all out and then pick themselves up again and give the next guy a chance but he turns out to be worse, might be a cheater, not hold her in high esteem and just treat her like a new toy acquired by a toddler, that will be discarded once the next Ben10 action figure comes out. The worst part is that after all the heartbreak, she is still bent on finding love. And if observers are kind, she get classed as a serial-dater but truly she is just a Soldier of love.

Often a "Soldier of love"  wouldn't recognize love if it slapped her in the face. Does she love herself? After she went back to guy #5 who left her with a black eye because she went through his phone, I doubt it. The series of bad experiences have shattered her self esteem to the extent that even a flicker of affection seems like the love she so desperately longs for. 

She must first take a step to accept God's love. First Corinthians 13:4-8 lists the characteristics of love. Few understand and appreciate how unique God's love really is. We relate God's love similarly to the way we've been loved. Our bad experiences prevent us from accepting God's love bringing Him down to our level thinking His love is conditional or proportional to our performance. That's how everyone else loves us, but God's love is different. It's like no other love you've ever experienced; it brings life, hope, builds self esteem and helps us to love ourselves.

Ultimately, it is our relationship with ourselves and God that is the most significant and indeed the most important relationship that we will ever have because all other relationships are reflections of this. Often, though not always, the desire to be in relationship with another comes from a place of wanting to fill a void, a space that somehow feels incomplete. When one enters into relationships from this starting point, they often lead to much disappointment and disillusionment and we end up concluding that relationships ARE hard. However, if we could be awakened to the fact that love of another begins with a strong focus towards God's love and then kindness, tenderness for another and from another begins with kindness and tenderness towards ourselves first. It is the relationship with self that leads us eventually to a place where life makes sense. As within, so without. A great teacher once said that happiness is an inside job and it's the same with loving: loving is an inside job!

Ijeoma Olujekun

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Guidelines For Courtship

I used to feel the term "Courtship" was an old fashioned way of describing "Dating". Today the term is mostly relegated to Christian relationships, the advantage of this is that it is clearer that courtship is not just a case of boy meets girl, they kiss and fall in love blah, blah, blah. It is distinctly the period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage and establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind.
  1. Marriage: Courtship doesn't have to develop into marriage because a couple can decide they are not for each other and simply remain friends, which is perfectly OK.
  2. Movies: Hollywood movies, Nollywood movies and Bollywood movies are just what they are "Movies" entertainment and not a guideline for how things play out in the real world. A movie or motion picture, is a series of still images on a strip of plastic which, when run through a projector and shown on a screen, creates the illusion of moving images. The distinction between this and real life should always be a clear one.

Want a Better Marriage? Be a Better Spouse. - Darlene Glasgow

How long were you married when you realized that your spouse didn’t seem quiet as perfect as you once thought? Does he/she seem to push your buttons more often now than when you were dating?

Of course, no one really expects their spouse to be perfect. We married them for better or worse — right?
Once the so-called honeymoon stage has passed, couples begin to settle into the routines of married life. It’s at this point that some may question what happened to that sweet girl I married, or where did that considerate guy that I married disappear to? The truth is; that guy/girl that you married is still right there. If the honeymoon has ended in your marriage and your bride/groom seems different, then maybe it’s time to stop evaluating how they have changed and instead take a look in the mirror.

Have you ever considered that your partner was sweet, cute, kind, and considerate because while you were dating, you actually brought those traits out in your partner? Perhaps you too were more pleasant, more fun, and more concerned with your appearance back then, so your partner responded in the same manner. Why should this change now that you’re married? Why does the honeymoon have to end? As the marriage matures, the relationship does change in some ways as both partners become more comfortable in their roles as husband/wife, but there is no reason why the marriage relationship can’t be just as wonderful as the dating relationship. Actually, I think God intends for our relationship in marriage to be even more wonderful than it ever was while dating.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Looking to God - Pastor Poju Oyemade

Looking to God
This was culled from the weekly Nutshell newsletter of Covenant Christian Centre

“Then she fell on her feet and bowed herself to the ground, and said unto him, why have I found grace in thine eyes, that thou should take knowledge of me, seeing I am a stranger? And Boaz answered and said unto her, it hath fully been showed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in-law since the death of thy husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knowest not heretofor. The Lord recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.” (Ruth 2:10-12).

Ruth’s faithfulness to the covenant relationship she had with Naomi paved way for her. She diligently kept the tenets of the covenant. All over the Bible, there are teachings emphasizing different kinds of relationships and how each of us ought to comport and conduct ourselves in them. Whether it is between husband-wife or wife-husband, children-parents or parents-children, masters-servants or servants-masters etc., the Bible categorically states God's expectation. This is important because “whatsoever a man doeth, the same shall he receive." We are also charged in Scriptures not to "... do it as unto men but as unto God that you (we) might receive the eternal inheritance.”

The Inspirational Story Of Tyler Perry - Dealing With Forgiveness

Dealing With Forgiveness
Tyler Perry
Whenever Tyler Perry is in front of the camera, he's usually behind it as well. A screenwriter, director, producer and star, Perry grew up poor in New Orleans, but he has become a movie phenomenon — he was described in the New Yorker as the most financially successful black man the American film industry has ever known.

Tyler Perry was ready to give up on his dream. For years, he had poured his passion and money into performances of his first play, "I Know I've Been Changed", always hoping that this would be the one that drew a crowd. But "every time I would go out to do the show, it would fail," says Perry, 39, the now highly successful author, director, producer and star of the movie Madea Goes to Jail.

"I would go to my boss and say, 'I need time off to do the show.' And they'd say no. I'd go to my desk, I'd sit and I'd pray. God would say, 'Leave. Quit.' I'd hear the voice as clear as day. I would leave, do the shows, and they would not work. I'd pray again: 'God, where are you? You told me to leave.' And I wouldn't hear a thing."

But he stuck with the play because he knew he was on to something. "The work was about adult survivors of child abuse and how one character confronted their abuser and went on to have a better life," says Perry.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

"Use Your Tongue To Count Your Teeth" And Other Valuable Lessons We Learn From Mothers - Happy Mother's Day

Today is Mother's day, a sobering reminder that many in our generation cannot use an apostrophe correctly (just kidding...but for real tho). Our Mothers taught us RELIGION-"You better pray that does not leave a stain in the carpet.", IRONY- "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.", Math - "Use your tongue to count your teeth." ANTICIPATION - "Just wait until we get home. "WISDOM -"When you get to be my age, you'll understand." FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

As we grow older, we tend to get so caught up in the rat race that we miss out on what is wonderful in the here and now, but our mothers have helped anchor us and remind us that the best things in life are free, they made us smile, laughs, witnessed our first tooth and even our sticky fingers brought them unexpected joy (and a need to change blouse). Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Women Who Inspire...

Yesterday was International women's Day, dedicated to the story of women's' struggles for equality and celebrating the economic, political, and social achievements of women past, present and future. In some countries its even a public holiday. Sufferagettes fought for women's right to vote and today reminds us of other inequalities yet to be addressed..

So think Globally and act locally, appreciate yourself as a woman or appreciate the women in your life. Do your part and make sure the future of our girls is bright, equal and rewarding.

They cook your meals, wash your clothes, they are the backbone of every family, they give chance after chance and their hearts are still taken for granted. Our sisters, mothers, cousins, wives, auntie and friends who sow love seeds in our soul!

Friday, March 8, 2013

What does it mean to be a Christian Woman in this Modern day?

Today is International Women's Day. In different regions, the focus of the celebrations ranges from general celebration of respect, appreciation and love towards women to a celebration for women's economic, political and social achievements.

"What does it mean to be a Christian Woman in this Modern day?" I asked some women about this and their responses are listed below.

"Being a Christian Woman in today's society seems more challenging than previous times, because while women do enjoy more freedom than previous times, they're also more demands and expectations that can distract you from fulfilling your purpose. And without the right foundation, getting carried away is easy. But it is a great time to be woman as well because there are less limitations. So you can greatly impact the world with even less resistance than previous times".  -  Uche, Nigeria

8 Things Every Woman Should Write Down Right Now

As a person who has kept a diary since childhood I have found that the most fascinating of stories is my story, so even if you don't consider yourself the next Jackie Collins you should carry a notebook to capture what most needs remembering. That way, you will always have something sensational to read.

1.  What Younger You Would Like About Present You. 
I can safely say I have metamorphosed over the years, and after becoming a wife and a mother, I have mutated. What would 16 year old you think of who you have become. Perhaps you never decided what you wanted to do but in an unlikely turn of events, you have the career you never thought was attainable. Your views on certain topics have changed, your tastes and your favorite flavor of ice cream.  Maybe you traded in the tom boy persona for a chic, red lips, pencil skirt, high heel wearing Aubrey Hepburn image.

2. Your Favorite scripture. As the years go by, there will be some scriptures that have helped you through the roughest of storms. These will be comforting, motivating, powerful, uplifting, inspiring and will always give you a valuable insight into your spiritual development.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

5 things you should know about Pre-marrieds

There are many engaged couples who think that they are well prepared for marriage however it is wise to let them realise what they may not know. Therefore, I take time to discuss these during the premarital classes.

Enjoying Every Diaper Change......

"...Enjoy every moment, they grow so fast...." Really? Every single moment? Like the minute when the children's co-ordinated tantrums are so noisy that everyone in the supermarket is staring at you like you have real life teenage mutant ninja turtles? Like the minute when you're so tired at the end of the day that you sit down at the computer to write a long overdue report and wake up with a forehead dented with the shapes of the keyboard keys and three pages of commas on the screen. Or when they all poo at the same time, while one is pulling of the diaper the other has it in his hand and is waving it in the air--Enjoyment indeed!!!

You look at old pictures of yourself and your tummy is still flat as a dashboard, no bags under your eyes there is that tangible freedom emanating from you this has long disappeared. As parents we can find it hard to admit that we are not enjoying our children. So what can we do to make the experience of being a parent more enjoyable?

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

How To Get The Perfect Woman..... Be The Perfect Man

How To Get The Perfect Woman.
Every man wants the perfect woman, the perfect wife. That is why he will tell you about the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:10-31...

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
.................................And it goes on and on

Apart from this, he wants the physical specs to be as imagined in his head... Tall, Fair, Graceful, Slim, Nice Body Figure, Pretty Face, Nice Smile.....

But I daresay I have not seen that Perfect Woman.....Because I know I am not perfect. But I strive towards perfection every day as I look unto my perfect Father.

It is also every man's job to be the Perfect Man, the Perfect Husband, the Perfect Father, the Perfect Lover...

Let's take an example for Jesus Christ. Yes He loved and cared for "his bride" too - her name, Ecclesia (the church).

"Raising The Worlds Richest" - Teaching Kids Financial Skills

The Next Warren Buffet?
One thing that struck me when I read about Carlos Slim Helu (the richest Man in the World) was that he was taught business practice from his dad, and by 12, he already had bought government bonds and shares in a Mexican bank.

Many Kids are aware of the concept of money long before they can actually add or subtract properly. They watch you pay for things at the supermarket, they watch you collect money from the ATM. Money gives people (both young and old) decision-making opportunities. Educating, motivating, and empowering children to become regular savers and investors will enable them to keep more of the money they earn and do more with the money they spend. Saving is a great way to stimulate self control and delayed gratification, and it has been proven that people with these abilities are good with other life skills.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Can You Describe Your Spouse?

Know your spouse

A man, his wife and dog went camping to ease the tension pervading their marriage for a while now. After some time spent on the camp ground, he took a nap. He woke up an hour later and couldn't locate his wife or the dog.

He left the campground and visited the Police Station. This dialogue ensues:

Man: I lost my wife.

Inspector: What is her height?
Man: I never noticed

Inspector: Slim or healthy-looking
Man: Not Slim, could be healthy-looking

Monday, March 4, 2013

Small Acts, Big Love

Guys, When last did you help to change the baby's diapers?
When last did you help with the groceries?
When last did you help with the dishes?
When last did you sacrifice watching that match to make dinner for the family?

She doesn't have to ask you before you do it. When she asks you, it loses its essence for her.

When I read "The Five Love languages" by Gary Chapman, I realised that as far as my wife was concerned, nothing spoke louder than "Acts of Service".  For her, actions truly speak louder than words.

Helping your wife or rendering acts of service does not demean you as a man. And also for wives,   it is not manipulation. It should be freely done or given.

It may be a small act of kindness, but it is seen as big Love. Start today.

God gave man "Work" before Woman. So Man, Get a Job before thinking of Marriage

 Man, Get a Job before thinking of Marriage
I do not mean a man's Work is more important than his wife. I am just saying that a Man MUST get a job before finding a wife.

When you read the Bible, the 2nd chapter of the book of Genesis, you would realise that God formed man (Vs. 7) and planted a garden (Vs. 9). Verse 15 says "And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it." In Verse 18, God now said that "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Finally after God formed the beasts and animals and brought them to him without Man's acceptance, he then created Woman (Vs. 21).

There is always a divine order in God's ways. The Man was already "working" before the Woman came.

"Don't Screw it Up" - Bringing Out The Best In Your Spouse

There is a video making rounds on You Tube and Facebook that many believe is the most touching handover speech by a bride's father. This awesome Dad ends by advising his son-in- law not to "screw up" all the hard work he and God have done on his daughter.

I think all married men and women should take this advice. In the early days of many relationships, the guy or girl might have mused "You always know what to say" and in the perfect response the other would be like "Yeah, it's 'cos you bring out the best in me" these are some of the sentiments that inform the decision to tie the knot in the first place. He wasn't a rainbow but he would always make you smile, she wasn't a motivational speaker but she always left you inspired, you gave each other that "glow" -with love like this, you could face the world.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

How to Open Your Hearts in Marriage

The following is a report on the practical applications of Jim Daly's book, The Best Advice I Ever Got on Marriage: Transforming Insights from Respected Husbands and Wives (Worthy Publishing, 2012).

Open hearts are the foundation of a healthy marriage. If your hearts are closed, all the best marriage advice in the world won’t help you and your spouse. But if you both decide to open your hearts, God’s love will flow through them, empowering you all to develop a strong marriage.

Here’s how you can open your hearts to each other and build a great marriage in the process:

Create emotional safety in your relationship. Encourage each other to share your deepest thoughts, feelings, beliefs, hopes, and dreams with each other. Listen to each other carefully and respectfully to build trust between you.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Afro-Kinky = Self Love ?--The Soul Sister's Agenda

From Facebook to Twitter, YouTube, through Google, many African women are increasingly embracing the idea to go natural; a development that has been hailed as a step in the right direction. I was in awe when I came across the "natural hair journey" of one of my childhood friends in the UK on Facebook.

Melanie went from stiff straight to full blown Afro kinky and she is still just as or even more beautiful. While growing up, two of us couldn't wait to relax our hair. I thought my natural texture was ugly so you can imagine how pretty I felt when my mum finally used the first tub of relaxer (and relieved that my hair would stop breaking combs). Unknowingly, I had brought in  the false belief that unless I had wavy or curly hair I couldn't be beautiful. When I moved to Nigeria as a teenager, it was the craze because if you didn't have relaxed hair you were seen as a religious extremist and if you didn't have a weave-on, it was perceived you were broke.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Golden Rules For Finding Your Life Partner

Finding a life partner
The divorce rate is going up and for many who remain married are either "patching" or enduring and not enjoying their marriages. You would be shocked what a busy schedule and lots of foundation can do to cover up a miserable marriage. How do you make sure this doesn't end up happening to you? Here's some advice  that every single person should put into deep consideration. Here are five questions from Rabbi Dov Heller you must ask yourself if you’re serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

 QUESTION #1 : Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way : If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. Fifty percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life bottom line - and marry someone who wants the same thing. 

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