Wednesday, March 20, 2013

6 Insanely Nice Things You Can say To Your Spouse or Anybody

When you're drowning you don't think, I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me. You just scream. I guess that's what the Psalmist meant when he said from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh. Words are powerful so let's put them to best use. I came across a list of some insanely nice things you can say to anybody that really made me think, so here is my list of 6 tiny but enormously kind things you can say that may change your spouse's or any person you feel needs the love of God's day—and (sometimes) even their way of looking at themselves.

1. "Take your time. I'm not in a hurry."
This one is great for the supermarket or anywhere else that involves really tired people trying their best, even as they fumble and flail. For example, the woman in front of you pays the cashier but then has to rifle through her overstuffed wallet to put away the change, then store the receipt, then mash the whole fat leather money accordion into her purse. She will usually complete this action with frantic fingers because she knows she's delaying the whole line; she knows everybody just wants to go home; Telling her to "Take your time. I'm not in rush" always sets off the same reaction: first, surprise (really? because everybody's in a rush...) and then a flash of sweet wide-open relief. You have just given somebody a three-minute holiday, not from the stress of life, but from the stress we put on ourselves.

2. "I saw what you did, God bless you"

Oh, the things people do! The woman who climbs up the two flights of stairs at a hotel, then climbs back down them to help an old man with his suitcase. Everybody walking by notices these tiny kindnesses. So few will take the socially risky, even embarrassing step of approaching the complete stranger who's done them and thanking him or her for what they're really doing—helping us remember that, despite the constant headlines, human beings don't just blow up innocent people. They also offer to share their umbrellas with strangers during heavy rainfall, even if it means their backpack or Fendi handbag will get a little wet. 

3. "I just can't make this decision without you."
Everybody likes to be liked for who they are. But there's a special kind of glow that comes when somebody likes what you think, when you know that what they want is your help in making a decision or in figuring out a messy problem. This may also be another way of expressing that most honored of human emotions: trust.

4. "You bring me joy. You make me happy."

There's ticker tape in most of our brains that spits out these kinds of loving phrases at regular intervals throughout the day. But the phrases themselves don't make it to our mouth, because they seem cheesy or we don't know the person well enough or we were raised by people who shook our hands (or worse) when they really wanted to hug us. Interestingly enough, people don't titter nervously when you say these so-called "overused" things to them. Nor do they run away. They may smile wildly or just slightly, but inside, little fireworks of happiness are going off. Just say it, and if that's too goofy or embarrassing, text it.

5. "I love the sound of your voice."
Just go say this to the nearest three people you like. Watch what happens. Unfortunately many of us only realise how much we love a loved one's voice after they have died and we realise we will never hear it again.

6. Jesus loves you , who am I not to?
My personal favorite. This is great for when your child, spouse or even a close friend has crossed the line and you are upset but know you have to forgive in order to move on. With a deep breath, perhaps a smile or even a slight roll of  the eyes) you will feel blessed after saying them and so will your recipient.

Remember, only say things you really mean. Don't say infinitely when you mean very; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.

Ijeoma Olujekun


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