Thursday, March 28, 2013

Will There Be Marriage And Sex In Heaven? - Jack Wellman

Will there be sex in heaven? What will the roles of men and women who have husbands and wives in heaven be? Will they still be married?

Like the Angels

Jesus addressed this question when the Sadducees asked him about whether there will still be marriages in heaven and whether they will still be married. One thing that I learned is that the Sadducees did not believe in the resurrection but the Pharisees did. There is an easy way to remember who did and who did not believe in the resurrection among the religious leaders. The Sadducees did not and so they were “sad, you see” but the Pharisees did because they could see “far, you see.” I know it sounds silly, but it helps me to remember who believed and who didn’t believe in the resurrection.

The Sadducees were trying to trick Jesus when they asked, “Teacher,” they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and have children for him. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her” (Matthew 12:19-23)? What did Jesus say? He stated that, “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 12:25). This does not mean that we will have wings like the angels for not all angels have wings. This means that there will be neither marriages of one to another or that they will procreate (have children). The angels also do not marry nor do they bear children. Jesus said in Mark 12:25 that “When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” Jesus actually rebuked the Sadducees saying, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God” (Mark 12:24)?

No Need for Sex in Heaven

There is not going to be any sex in the Kingdom of Heaven because those who have put their trust in Christ on earth will live forever. There will be no need to replenish the human race because eternal life means that the death rate on earth at present (being 100% or 10 out of every 10 humans die) will not be like the death rate in heaven (being 0 out of 10 will die). Sex was created by God to bond male and females together as one in a relationship that is like that of Christ and His Bride, the church. The church has become one with Christ. Sex is also made for procreation (having children) but it is a way of having two people, male and female, come together i n the most intimate relationship possible. Two people become one in unity, family, and harmony and their DNA creates one child at a time (save for twins or more). This unique gift from God is designed only for those who have made lifetime commitments to one another. In Genesis 2:24 is says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

Jesus said as much when He stated that “at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Mark 10:6-9). Today, the church and Christ become one and what God had joined together, stays together. That is the intent of marriage. “Till death do us part” is in most marriage ceremonies but sadly, it is “until disagreement makes us part.” This is why parents of the couple must stay out of their children’s marriages and perhaps is the reason why God said, in Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (my emphasis). They leave their old families behind to create a new family. I do not mean that they distance themselves or cut off the relationship from their families but that relationship stops at the threshold of the new couple’s door.

Better Than Sex

Sex was created by God to bond male and females together as one in a relationship that is like that of Christ and His Bride, the church.

God created sex for married couples to enjoy but in heaven, there will be no greater joy than to be in the presence of God. What a day that will be and there will be nothing on this earth to compare with it. That is why Paul said, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18). The joy is indescribable even to Paul who was taught directly by Jesus Christ. Paul said that “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known” (1 Corinthians 13:12). The Apostle John had a foretaste of this when he wrote, “Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2).
The Roles of Men and Women in Heaven

Men and women are co-equals and co-heirs in Christ today and in the Kingdom of Heaven they will be ruling with Christ as kings and priests. That indicates that we shall be ruling and reigning with Christ. The capacity and responsibilities will not be due to our being male or female but due to what we have done on this earth. Jesus said that some will rule five cities, some may rule ten cities, but our responsibilities will be in direct proportion to what we have done with out talents, time, and treasure here on earth (Luke 19). In Revelation 5:10 it states that at His return, He “made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth”, “and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father–to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen” (Revelation 1:6).


God is no respecter of persons between men or women (Acts 10:34) because, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). Men will not be the head of women in heaven. He and she will both be ruling together but in different capacities according to what they have done on earth. We are not saved by works but our works will follow us to heaven and each man and woman will be rewarded according to what they have done on earth for the Lord. Today, if you have not placed your trust in Christ, you will not be in heaven but be eternally separated from God with no second chance. Today is your day of salvation (2 Corinthians 6:2) for no one is guaranteed that they will live beyond tonight or tomorrow. Come to Jesus today, repent of your sins, confess them to God, and put your trust in Jesus Christ. Then you can join the other saints in ruling and reigning with Christ in the Kingdom of Heaven. That will be better than any marriage or sexual relationship that has ever been consummated.

Author: Jack Wellman.

Jack Wellman is a Christian author, freelance writer, and pastor at the Mulvane (KS) Brethren church in Mulvane, Kansas. Jack has attended Southern California Seminary. His books are inexpensive paperbacks that are theological in nature: “Teaching Children The Gospel/How to Raise Godly Children“, “Do Babies Go To Heaven?/Why Does God Allow Suffering?“, and “Blind Chance or Intelligent Design?, Empirical Methodologies & the Bible“. Jack is a father and grandfather who has a BA in history, one in education, and one in science


  1. Jesus was referring only to levirate marriage, not the union of a man and woman in an intimate sexual relationship. The Greek words used for marrying and being given in marriage refer to the legal institution of marriage. This was not needed with the first couple Adam and Eve, so says nothing about the actual married state. Bible scholars, N.T. Wright and Ben Witherington have insightful information to the truth of the context. God only seeks to get rid of sin, which marriage is not, so there is no need to get rid of it. We are made with a much greater desire for an intimate relationship with someone of the opposite gender, that most people would hate to live without, than the desire to eat, and yet people say God will get rid of sex and marriage but not food. That makes no sense. Just because some people manage to not care if they can continue having a sinless sexually intimate relationship with someone for eternity, doesn't make it fair to teach that those who do care should just get over it somehow. Food is just as unnecessary to live as an immortal as sex and marriage, but that didn't stop God from making the marriage union in a deathless perfect world, which is the state the new heaven and earth are being restored to.

  2. Some people do see the fun in funeral: the funeral of sexual passion.
    In Luke 20:36 Jesus states one of the reasons for not marrying and being given in marriage is because the righteous resurrected can’t die anymore but will be like the angels in heaven. God creating sexual relationships before humans sinned and could die contradicts death being a condition for marriage and sex. Only legal customs of marriage were invented after humanity sinned, so thats all Jesus could be refering to. The original Greek in the account with the sadducees for marry and given in marriage meant the male proposer paying a fee to the womans dad and the woman being given to the man respectively, because she didn’t get a choice. This was not needed with the first couple, Adam and Eve, so says nothing about the actual married state. There is no correlation with legal customs and sexual love relationships there. Would any of the people who heard Jesus answer been amazed at it if he meant sexual feelings and relationships would be eliminated? I’m pretty sure Jews had as much sexual desire as most other people, so would have felt despair if that was the context.
    At the beginning God said for us to be fruitful and multiply, with no indication it was to ever stop. He created marriage and sexual passion for spouses and being alone was the one thing God said during the creation account that is not good and made Eve to complete humanity with both genders and said that is the reason a person will leave their parents and be united with a spouse and the two will become one flesh, so he couldn’t have simply meant it’s not good to be without other humans for friendship. God can't change his mind about the ideal state for males and females if he is the same forever. If simply being more aware of God's presence and love makes marriage unnecessary, then God would have had no reason to create gender and sex to fulfil a different kind of intimate desire to begin with, because God and Adam had exactly that kind of relationship we'll have with him in the renewed creation, before Eve was made. We are made in Gods image and gender is part of our design. If simply being part of God's image is all the justification needed to have gender, then the external features that distinguish genders to attract each other sexually, and the hormones and parts used for sexual pleasure and reproduction would all be wasted. That’s all part of what makes us the genders we are and God doesn’t create anything to not be used. The human female figure is shaped the way it is to fit babies during birth. keeping a libido is justified.


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