If Only I had A Mother...

I’ve been visiting the hospital to be with a very dear friend of mine who had a threatened abortion and eventually a miscarriage. When she was eventually discharged she shared that she was sad that her mother wasn't there (her mother was late). She was further saddened and offended that her aunts called but didn't take out time to visit. 

Suddenly I had this déjà vu of how I felt after delivering my child. I just broke down in tears one day because although my mum was alive, she couldn't be there. I asked God why he would let that happen, it hurt me so deeply. Frustrated that this persistent yearning continued to pursue me days after, I confided in a godly friend. After sharing my struggle with her, she told me simply “But He has given you many mothers, all you have to do is accept them.”

Coping With Miscarriage

Books, Web sites, even doctors gloss over the subject of miscarriage. What to Expect When You're Expecting, which finds space for questions like "Is it necessary to shave your pubic hair before labor?", devotes only a few pages to miscarriage. These resources don't prepare you for the grief, guilt, and self-doubt that take the place of excitement. And it would take a writer much better than I, to fully describe the physical and emotional experience.

Someone who has not gone through the loss of a pregnancy will find it very difficult to understand. The days, weeks, and months following a loss can be incredibly difficult and painful — even more so if it wasn't your first pregnancy loss, or if you carefully planned this pregnancy and thought you'd done everything "right." Or you may simply feel withdrawn and moody and unable to concentrate or sleep. If you told friends, colleagues or  family you were pregnant, you'll probably worry about announcing the turn of events and you may find even the most sincere expressions of sympathy difficult to take.