10 Things Guys Wish Women Knew about Men - Jim Burns

It is likely no surprise to you that God has wired women and men differently. We all recognize some of these differences, but others often hide in plain sight.
I think you'll find these ten things fascinating! Even more, I believe that in understanding these issues, you'll be equipped to lead your marriage to a better place!

1) Men would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected. Husbands need to know that their wives respect them both privately and publicly. Men thrive when they know that their wives trust them, admire them and believe in them. Shaunti Feldhahn's research indicated that men would rather sense the loss of loving feelings from their wives than to be disrespected by them.

2) A man's anger is often a response to feeling disrespected by his wife. When a husband becomes angry with his wife, he may not come out and say, "You're disrespecting me!" But, there is a good likelihood that he is feeling stung by something his wife has done which he considers disrespectful and humiliating.

7 Simple Ways To Say “No” - Celestine Chua

Do you have difficulty saying “no”? Are you always trying to be nice to others at the expense of yourself?

Well, you’re not alone. In the past, I was not good at saying “no”, because I didn’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.

For example, whenever I get requests for help, I would attend to them even though I had important work to do. Sometimes the requests would drag to 2-3 hours or even beyond. At the end of the day, I would forgo sleep to catch up on my work. This problem of not knowing how to say “no” also extended to my clients, business associates and even sales people.

After a while, I realized all these times of not saying “no” (when I should) were not helping me at all. I was spending a lot of time and energy for other people and not spending nearly as much time for myself. It was frustrating especially since I brought it upon myself. I slowly realized if I wanted personal time, I needed to learn to say “no”.

Why We Find It Hard To Say “No”

To learn to say “No”, we have to first understand what’s resisting us about it. Below are common reasons why people find it hard to say no:

Friendship In Marriage

The word "friendship" conjures up thoughts of honesty, vulnerability, companionship, and mutual respect. It also implies a certain outlaying of time and energy. C.S. Lewis said of friendship: "It is when we are doing things together that friendship springs up – painting, sailing ships, praying, philosophizing, and fighting shoulder to shoulder. Friends look in the same direction."

"Marriage without friendship cannot work in our culture," says Bill Hanawalt, who has conducted pre-marital and marital counseling for 30 years as the executive pastor of the Vineyard Christian Church of Evanston, Il. "Friendship has to be nourished and nurtured regularly or it faces the danger of becoming a business relationship. I have seen many distant and business-like marriages where careers have developed and children have come into the picture, and the priority of emotional connection has been left to die on the vine. Couples that don't give attention to developing their friendship often come apart. It also creates an opening for marital infidelity.

Submission in Marriage...One way or a Two way street? - Jeff Miztah Rogers

One of the classic passages in the bible on Marriage is Ephesians 5:21-33 This is probably one of the most quoted and preached from passages on this subject. Most times preachers will use this passage a a bludgeoning tool to get wives or husbands to act accordingly. I always thought that this was a misuse of the passage.

"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Ephesians 5:21-33

I am a firm believer that this section is a very clear passage dealing with the glories of being in an "In Christ Relationship". It has more to do with the believers union with Christ than it does as a handbook or a self-help guide to our earthly marriage.

Overcoming Fear With Faith

My godly mother, who prayed me into the kingdom, frequently used to say she was "worried sick" about this or that.

But here's the plain truth: worry is a sin! Over and over, the Bible commands, "Do not worry!" It doesn't do a bit of good, but it can certainly do harm -- like causing ulcers.

Jesus bluntly challenged His followers: "Don't worry about everyday life -- whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not. You have so little faith!" (Matthew 6:25b,27, 30b).

To illustrate His point, Jesus said, "Look at the birds. They don't need to plant or harvest because your heavenly Father feeds them" (Matt. 6:26a).

Being a Strong Father in a Culture of Weak Men - Kevin East

Boys should be able to describe what a godly man looks like, having watched one from the time they were a little boy. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case for most. For many boys, a godly man is something like Superman or Big Foot. It is not something that can be grasped.

A couple of weeks ago I brought my two boys with me to a home and garden center. As I was checking out, the old man behind the counter stopped me in my tracks with what he said. My boys were off to the side, gently playing with the wind chimes. They, too, didn’t know how to respond to the old man’s comment.

“What are you two girls up to today?”

From Outbursts to Outstanding: How to Manage Your Emotions Wisely - Whitney Hopler

Do you often feel unglued emotionally? Life is full of stress that can lead to overwhelming emotions such as fear and anger. Those feelings can well up inside your soul to the point where you struggle with emotional outbursts, which can significantly damage your relationships with God and other people.

Even if you’ve developed a habit of losing control of your emotions, God can give you the self-control you need to manage them wisely and enjoy the healthy relationships He intends for you.

Here’s how:

Admit your struggles. Be honest with yourself about the destructive ways you’ve been managing your emotions, confess your sins (such as hurting people against whom you’ve unleashed emotional outbursts) to God, and ask God to empower you to change so that you can start dealing with your emotions in healthy ways.

Recognize that your emotions can work for you rather than against you. Your emotions aren’t bad; they’re good when you use them for the purpose for which God created them: to fully experience life. Step into the healing process with confidence. Don’t get overwhelmed when you think about how hard it seems to change. Instead, rely on the grace that God will give you day by day for the healing process. Whenever you make mistakes, learn from them and move on, knowing that imperfect progress is still progress that matters.