Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Do Christians need pre-nups?

After the presentations at the Covenant Christian Centre’s Singles Summit  held recently, it was now time for questions and answers. A guy came up to the microphone and asked “Do Christians need pre-nups? “ Even though the question was presented to the three couples that made the presentations, I was nominated to answer. Impulsively, I blurted No way. Why should a Christian think of Pre-nups? The premise of a pre-nup is wrong. But before I go on, What is a pre-nup? According to the definition obtained from Wikipedia,  A pre-nuptial agreement, antenuptial agreement, or premarital agreement, commonly abbreviated to pre-nup or pre-nupt, is a contract entered into prior to marriage, civil union or any other agreement prior to the main agreement by the people intending to marry or contract with each other. The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but commonly includes provisions for division of property and spousal support in the event of divorce or breakup of marriage. They may also include terms for the forfeiture of assets as a result of divorce on the grounds of adultery; further conditions of guardianship may be included as well.  Though the pre-nup seems to have been created with good worldly intentions, the bedrock is totally wrong. The pre-nup undermines a couple’s marriage and may even increase the likelihood of divorce. Jesus had the following words to say when he was asked about divorce (Matthew 19:3-10).
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”   4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”  8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”  10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Clearly Jesus was and is still against divorce. When a couple thinks of a pre-nup, they have embraced divorce and opened the door for the Evil one to enter into the marriage. Unwittingly, unconsciously they have embraced the phrase - For better, for stay; For worse, for go.
Why do secular people ask for pre-nups? Two basic reasons account for this – wealth protection and related party’s protection.
Wealth Protection – When a partner brings a lot of wealth into a marriage and the other does not, those that are pro-prenups say a pre-nup helps to protect the one bringing the wealth. However my own point of view is that if the wealthy partner is thinking of his/her wealth before marriage, he does not trust his/her spouse and is not ready to embrace the oneness in marriage.
Related Party’s ProtectionA premarital agreement can protect the inheritance rights of children and grandchildren from a previous marriage. My view is that there are other legal ways of protecting the children without a pre-nuptial.
I must reiterate that The Creator said that the Two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. A pre-nuptial opens the door for a way out.


  1. Pali,
    I agree with you but something comes to my mind.
    As christains, we are not supposed to co-habit like the unbelievers do and there is thus a limit to what you can know about your partner. So most times you nactually enter in Faith which is expected for a chraistain.
    However now that times are changing, it may not be a bad idea to look at pre-nup but a bit modified.
    I will suggest that where it is necessary, it should be done with conditions. I mean it should be done in a way as to test the sincererity of the party in suspect.
    How can a rich party guide against one coming just because of what he can get - a pre-nup would help.
    In the event that the guys proves to be faithful, then the pre-nup can be modified or adjusted.
    The love needs to be tested to before a party commits all his life and resources to a stranger.
    Let me even ask you and you know this abounds in America and Europe where a woman would marry a man just because of his wealth and at the slightest reason ask for a divorce and you also know the world is becoming a global village - How do you guide against that???
    Pali, e be like say I don talk too much, I rest my case.

  2. Francis my brother I agree with you 100% jor.
    The reason the church seems to be waning in power and influence is centred around issues like this one.
    The christian life is either a life of FAITH or NO LIFE at all.
    The christian walk should have PLEASING GOD as its goal ALWAYS.
    The greatest of books-THE BIBLE makes us understand that WITHOUT FAITH IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE GOD (Heb 11:6)and WHATEVER IS NOT DONE IN FAITH IS SIN (Rom.14:23)
    If I may ask whoever said that co habiting and long courtships guarantee that you will know your spouse ....
    A christian marriage not contracted with faith and love is ceratainly headed for the rocks and the signing a pre-nup for use in the event of a possible divorce no matter how noble the underlying motive, is a clear indication that faith and love have been thrown out.It is actually no different from stealing,killing or any other sin because ANY ACTION-FAITH=SIN
    Have a great week folks
    Faith E.


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