Monday, September 12, 2016

18 years of marriage and getting stronger. Here are ten tips for wonderful marriage

Today we celebrate eighteen years of a wonderful marriage. We started not knowing too much about the journey but one thing that we knew was that it was going to work. We trusted God and made God the centre of our relationship.

We have also been marriage counsellors for over 12 years and we have also learnt what it takes to make a happy marriage.

As we bless and thank God for our marriage, here are ten tips that we would like to share with you for a glorious marriage:

  • Love God and love your spouse as your self. This is another way of paraphrasing the greatest commandment as stated in Matthew 22: 36-40. How can you say you do not love your spouse but you love God? Love God and love your spouse. 
36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

  • Find out about marriage from the author of marriage. Learn about marriage from the author of Life and marriage. Unless you learn the purpose and goals, you will not succeed at it. Speak with Him and understand when he says it is like the relationship between Christ and the church. Go to Him when you don't understand what is happening. He will show you many things when you learn to rely on Him.
  • Learn to celebrate your spouse. Learn to praise your spouse. Celebrate your spouse because you see him or her as a gift from God. And you must learn to appreciate God's gift to you and cherish your gift. Pray and say great things about your spouse. Sometimes, it may not be easy but speak his or her into existence. Celebrate every moment together.
  • Keep the lines of communication open. Always talk. There are various communication media. Use them. Do not think your phones and communication tools are just for your work. Use them to communicate with your spouse. Call or talk with your spouse everyday even while at work. Make it a habit.
  • Be your spouse's best friend. My wife and I are best friends. When you marry, your spouse should become your best friend. Spend time with your best friend. Create and enjoy exciting moments.
  • Be obsessed with making your marriage work. You need to focus on your marriage. Make it work. Divorce is not an option. Do not give the Evil one the chance to make your marriage a divorce example. Trust that you can resolve anything that happens in your marriage.
  • Patience is a virtue. This is truly a truth in marriage. You must learn to be patient. There are times when things might not go the way you want it. Trust in God and be patient. It is truly a virtue.
  • Invest in your spouse. Help your spouse ti be the best they can be. Seek to know what your spouse's plans are and invest in helping the to come to live. When your spouse sees your sincerity in making his or her life better, the love will grow stronger.
  • Always tell the truth and don't let your spouse have any reason to doubt you. This is an absolute. Always tell the truth. Do not let your spouse have a reason to second guess you. This is very important.
  • Rightly prioritise your relationship with your spouse. This is the order I recommend and keep to. 
(1) God, (2) Your spouse, (3) Your children and finally (4) your work. 
The Lord has been good to us and we know He still has great things in store for us. We believe that couple can enjoy a good marriage as He intended.

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