Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Lavish Weddings and Divorces: A Positive Correlation?

Image result for big wedding ceremony
Source: Green wedding shoes

It seems to have become a trend in society to expect a dramatic divorce shortly after a lavish wedding between two people of high financial standing and an extravagant lifestyle. Very often, I read posts of such divorce notices, and the comments suggest what you are possibly thinking about lavish weddings - they often lead to divorce! Some people have suggested that lavish weddings are thrown to hide problems between the couple and give the impression that is beautiful and well in their love paradise, while others believe a lavish wedding is a must for certain kinds of people. 

I want to address the idea that seems to have been engraved in our minds that lavish weddings will definitely lead to divorce. That buying an expensive dress, hiring an entire wine estate and calling the best DJ in town to the reception is the perfect recipe for divorce. That could not be farther from the truth. There are small weddings that have been held away from the eyes of the public that also fell into the divorce pit. Of course, we don't read about them much because they were held in secret. But we must understand that divorce is a possibility irrespective of the type of wedding you have. This is because the wedding is not a determinant of the success of your marriage. Big or small, the wedding is a ceremony and nothing more. 

Image result for big wedding ceremony
Source: Evoga Wedding Productions

The marriage, on the other hand, is about the husband and the wife, their quirks and personalities, their pet peeves, their communication style and their conflict resolution ability. No matter how small and cheap the wedding is, if the couple cannot communicate, resolve conflict, avoid taking each other for granted and support each other's dreams, the marriage is headed for the pit. Same goes for a big wedding. It is not about the wedding, it is about you. Your big wedding is not a recipe for disaster, nor is your small wedding the perfect recipe for a stable long lasting marriage. It goes beyond all that. 

So if you want a big wedding, go ahead and do it! Your marriage cannot be jinxed by your wedding. If you want a small wedding, go for it. Your marriage will not automatically come together like Iron man's body suit. Irrespective of the type of wedding you opt for, know that your connection with your partner, not with the wedding guests or the party planner, but your partner alone is most important. If there are already cracks in your courtship, chances are your marriage will burst at the seams anyway, small wedding, big wedding or any kind of wedding. XOXO

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