My wife and I, as Premarital counsellers, always advise intending couples to discuss the issue of managing in-laws before they get married. To avert a situation where in-laws take over your family, I urge you to note and implement the following:
1. Set Ground Rules. Each couple should set ground rules and abide by them irrespective of the pressure that might come from their parents. Each party, husband and wife, should them communicate these ground rules to his/her parents.
2. Every man should stand up for his wife. If after marriage, there is one Mother-in-law trying to tell you how she carried your husband for 9 months, nursed and tendered for him, hence she has a right to dictate what happens in your home, let your husband deal with this. I urge husbands to act as real men and defend their wives. Men, you need to understand that the moment you went to ask for your wife's hand in marriage, you promised to take care of her. She now becomes the number 1 lady in your life, not your mother. So it is your duty, no matter how painful it is, to tell you mother who the real queen is.
