How to Forgive and Move On

I think one of the most difficult things to do in life is to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply. I used to think I was a very forgiving person, but recent happenings have proven me wrong, and caused me to reassess my stance on forgiveness and how to go about it. To forgive a person after you have been deeply hurt by their actions or lack of action when necessary, is not as easy as many people say it is; so I won’t tell you to forgive right now and move on. Rather, I’ll tell how to successfully come to a point of forgiveness.

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The first thing you must understand that forgiving a person does not mean you forget what that person did. Except you are able to activate amnesia whenever it suits you, you’ll never fully forget what a person has done to hurt you. The essence of forgiveness is to reduce the impact of hurtful actions as time goes on. Forgiveness means that when you do remember that person, or what they did to you, you don’t have the urge to pull out their hair, or hurt them back. The big question is: how do you get to that point? 

First things first, acknowledge you are hurt. Don’t try to brave it off, or act like it does not bother you. That might make you look strong to superficial admirers, but deep down you know you’re hurting. Accept you’re hurt, own it, and then take the next step.