Sex is deeply overrated – or not.
We talk about sex in hush tones like it is something forbidden. It was refreshing reading Demi’s post on embracing lust and I couldn’t agree more.
The importance of sex can’t be overemphasized. A study shows that many men prioritize sexual satisfaction in their marriages.
Meaning a sexually satisfied man is
a happy man. While some might want to argue that men are the only ones that
enjoy sex, truth is women do too. So, a
sexually satisfied couple is a happy couple.
You’d be surprised however at how awfully dissatisfying the sex life of many married couples are. I have discovered from listening to people’s stories and reading several articles that this has nothing to do with losing interest in one’s spouse. It just degenerates to a routinely chore due to the way it is approached by some couples . Our fast moving society with her many responsibilities weighs on one's mood some times and takes the desire away. Kids come and taking care of them can be very demanding or you might feel it doesn’t hold any surprises any longer. Whatever the reason might be, if not checked, it could lead to a major problem.
If sex in your marriage has become so boring, you could try some of the things listed below to tweak things a bit.
Never stop dating: Reality actually make some things look better in print but believe me it is workable. You just need to make conscious effort. Let the kids stay over at a family/friend’s house or have a minder over for a few hours while you go out to do something fun together every other week depending on your schedule. This is just so you stay in each other’s consciousness away from the distractions from work or home. Creating this atmosphere can create a longing that could otherwise be forgotten. You get to be reminded of all the reasons you fell in love and at the same time keep your feelings fresh.
Build your spouse’s imaginations: Talk dirty sometimes. There are very minimal rules to sex between married couples. It doesn’t get dirtier than sex and it doesn’t get more intimate than it. It is meant to be enjoyed. You can stimulate your partner’s senses by telling them what you’d want to do to them. Flirt with yourselves over the phone. Just break the norm. Sexting is however not advised because the internet might cause other people to have access to your pictures without you knowing.
Stop making sex business like: I watched a movie and the woman in the movie said she and her husband have sex on Thursdays. That just spells BORING. What’s wrong with spontaneity? If the urge comes on a Tuesday, go for it. I know some therapists advice for one to have set dates in order to have frequent sex for couples that completely forget its importance and also for something to look forward to but I dare say it could become boring treating it like a chore. It is alright not to have sex as often as the media preaches, what matters is maintaining a good connection.
Be Creative: This doesn't literally translate to you trying dangerous and extreme things or engaging in freaky sinful acts. You just need to think out of the box. Sex doesn't necessarily have to be a monotonous act confined to just your matrimonial bed. Try other rooms. G need not always be the usual.et some nice underwears and douse yourself in nice smelling colognes. It
Soak yourself in the moment and Let go: Sex is a form of communication. It need not be rushed all the time. Lay in your partner’s arms and let things take their natural course. Talk about what turns you on and try and meet each other’s needs. Let his body speak to yours and answer the call hers speak. Just enjoy being vulnerable and let go. That way the memory stays in your head and creates the right kind of longing for your partner.
Be open and considerate: Don’t be about yourself alone. It is highly necessary for you to be as devoted to your spouse’s satisfaction as they are to yours. Remember it is a two way thing, it is much about your need as well as your spouse’s. Don’t be shy to discuss what works and what doesn’t. You are in it together remember?
Don't let yourself go: Some experts advise for women to do regular kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles of their pelvic floor. Don’t forget the place of staying attractive. Stay desirable. You can savage your marriage by making conscious efforts. Don’t wait till things get out of hand.
Every one has different things that work for them, just find your own mojo .
God bless your homes.