Monday, February 20, 2017

Living single: Five Things To Do Regularly While You Are Single

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travel alone or with friends. The point is to create amazing memories

No, I am not going to tell you to go to all the church vigils and fast for your spouse while in waiting. Not to say those are not fun (if you are into that), but there are many other interesting activities you should get involved in as a single person. Here are my top five. 

#1 Travel to a place you've always wanted to visit: I am not referring to a honeymoon-like spot where you will get depressed watching other lovers kiss and exchange love notes. No, I am talking about that place you've always wanted to go for interest's sake. It does not have to be somewhere thousands of miles away. It could even be a road trip to the next city; it could be a trip around your region. Travel with a good friend or a couple of friends. The point of this is to make memories you will smile about when you eventually get married. 

#2 Develop a new hobby: Many single people are miserable because they are not into anything interesting. They keep waiting for their future partners to show up so they can do interesting stuff together. STOP doing that to yourself. The less-engaged you are with interesting activities, the longer the wait for your spouse seems. So start a new hobby; join a bowling or running club if you are into sports, join a book club if that is your thing, but don't sit in isolation on your couch eating potato chips and feeling sorry for yourself. 
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Don't spend time alone sitting around feling sorry for yourself

#3 Go out to breakfast at different places: If there is one thing I enjoy doing, it is discovering cosy places for breakfast, and I mean really cheap and delicious breakfasts. I actually wake up on Saturday mornings, take a shower, dress up and go out to breakfast. What is the point of this you might ask? It is a way for you to know your environment, gain confidence in your relationship status, and is an avenue to meet new people. Believe me, if you find the right place, there will be another single person checking you out, and who knows what that will lead to? 

#4 Accept invitations to events without over-thinking: The solitary single life can be so addictive that the thought of going anywhere seems like too much work. Ditch that thought process and take this advice. Go to events you are invited to (except you don't like the people who will be going). Not knowing anyone there is not an excuse not to go. What is the point of going to a party only to chat to people you know? Go to parties and chat with people you don't know, join the dance circle, forget your phone. Loosen up and have fun. 
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You don't have to know the people around you to have fun. G out, enjoy parties, meet new people and loosen up

#5 Invite your friends to lunch or dinner and encourage them to invite their friends of the opposite sex: Inviting friends over can make your life robust, and it is even better when they invite their friends who are dateable. The beauty of such meetings is that if you don't meet the love of your life, you will make new friends. And you know what they say.... your network is your net worth.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

On the Issue Of Marriage, Fasting And Sex: Should You Do It While You're Fasting?

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I recently read a story online about a newly-wedded lady who, in her quest to have a child embarked on a fasting journey that was set to last for weeks, and ironically refused to have sex with her husband. Well, as you can guess, her husband was far from happy to be denied access to his newly-wedded bride, and she in return felt he was being downright unreasonable. 

The story sparked a debate amongst many, with some standing firmly in support of the wife for seeking the face of the Lord, and others laughing at the irony of it all - seeking God for a child, yet abstaining from sex. One question stood out from this story: Should you have sex while you are fasting? (Referring to married couples of course). 

Well, one thing that is clear is that there is no commandment in the bible that says couples cannot have sex during a fast, nor is there any that encourages them to engage in sex.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Simple Tips That Help You Host The Best Dinner Parties

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If there is one thing that can give anyone an instant headache, it is hosting friends, colleagues or even acquaintances, it is what to do and how to do it. At some point, you will find yourself facing the situation of playing host/hostess, and these simple tips will help you throw a dinner party, host your friends or colleagues, and perhaps help you win 'come dine with me' if you plan to go on the show.

#1 Plan ahead: The reason many hosts fail to make an impact on their guests is because they only start planning a day or two before the gathering. You may be the type that functions best under pressure, but trust me when I say you cannot apply that principle to hosting a dinner party. I usually tell people to plan the menu ahead- what they will serve, which plates they will use and the decor they intend to use on the dinner table.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Five Keys To Resolving Every Marital Conflict

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Marriage usually starts off with this idea of a fairy tale that nothing will ever go wrong. Thank goodness there are so many variations of Cinderella now that how that even prince charming can be a bit annoying, and cinderella can be emotional about the seemingly unimportant things. In other words, no matter how compatible two people are, they will have issues they don't agree on and will have those days when they are so hurt, they don't want to speak to each other. Sadly, for some, that is the end of the relationship - "If we can't agree on everything, why are we together?" Honey, buy a robot. 

However, if you are in a relationship with a normal human being who has the whole nine yards of emotions and values and ideas, here are five tips that will help you get through every squabble. 

#1 Understand that you married a human being, not a clone of yourself: Many people go into marriage with the idea that their partners must see the world the exact same way that they do. This preset mindset is the platform for irreconcilable differences. Your partner will not always agree with you, even on things that are seemingly black and white. That your partner's ideas or arguments differ from yours does not mean your partner is against you.

#2 Be willing to listen: Listening is a skill that you must learn if you want to have a successful marriage. You might be the most intelligent person ever; you might even have the perfect understanding of how things ought to be, but well guess what? Your partner does too and it probably differs from yours. Learn to listen and marry both your ideas.

#3 Learn to apologise and accept apologies: For some people, apologising means giving their spouse leverage. I will never ever understand that for sure. It is a relationship with a teammate, not a power tussle with the new guy from work. Apologise and learn to accept apologies too. Don't let the resentment build up. Accept the apology and keep it moving. Resentment will keep you stuck even after your partner has moved on from the issue.

#4 Be honest about how you feel: The reason so many marriages break down and stories suddenly start surfacing from people who were apparently happy during the marriage is a lack of transparency. If you want the root of your issues to be resolved, be 100% honest about how a situation makes you feel. Communicate clearly if you are angry, hurt, shocked, humiliated or a combination of everything. And be willing to talk about it. If you partner is communicating how they feel, it is not the time to start enforcing why you are right. Listen, make changes if necessary and move on.

#5 Be determined to make it work: The worst way to resolve conflict is to start throwing threats around. Threats such as "I think we should just end things if you cannot listen to me" or "I think we need a break" might scare your partner into becoming your clone at first, but it won't last. Sonner or later, he or she will call your bluff and you will be living with your ego intact, but your heart shattered.


Monday, February 6, 2017

Five Reasons You Shouldn't Date This New Guy

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It can be so exciting when a new guy comes around and showers you with all the attention you want. Let's face it, getting good attention from a dateable guy (and the definition of this is subjective) can make a girl feel like a million bucks, and before you know it, you are already matching smile for smile, blink for blink and sticking closer to your phone than your skin sticks to your flesh. But is this new guy who you really need at this mature stage of your life where you are seeking a relationship with depth? Here are five signs that he is probably not.

#1 He keeps telling you about how awesome he is: For some guys, the MO to win a lady over is to talk, talk and talk about how great they are, and how amazing their mothers tell them they are, how great their exes thought they were, how great they know they are.... you get the gist. Stay away! Many guys who keep talking about themselves expect the relationship to be all about them because you know, they are just so awesome.

#2 He's only interested in conversations that are about sex: This is not to say discussing sex is bad, but it is in your best interest to not date a guy whose ONLY interest is sex. Talk to him about your day, politics, societal issues, even gossip, and he's not interested? But the moment you discuss sex, his ears extend like a 20th-century antenna and his eyes widen? never mind. He is not worth your emotional investment. He is not mature enough to converse like an adult and your relationship will boil down to just one thing - sex.

#3 He makes fun of his single exes: I personally find it distasteful for a guy to tell me about the ladies who broke up with him and are still single years later. Firstly, it tells me he has no idea why they broke up with him; hence, he hasn't learned anything from it. Secondly, it tells me he is the type to kick others why they are down. He is certainly the type who rejoices if things don't work out for others especially if they don't work out for him too.

#4 He lets you handle the big stuff alone: Ever been told "you are a big girl. You can handle it" while he is playing video games or watching his favourite sport? Yeah... don't expect that to change even when he is doing nothing.

#5 He can't think through his own life: I find these days that many men, sweet as they are, expect to be built by the women in their lives. They expect you to push them, tell them what to do, teach them the steps to take, and basically carry the psychological load of the decisions they need to make on their backs. Don't bother going there. You will be thinking for him for the rest of your life, Alluring as that may sound, it becomes exhausting too!

Monday, January 30, 2017

How To Get Over That EX You See Everyday

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This post is really for the ladies but hey guys pick up some tips too!

Getting over an ex is difficult enough without the added twist of having to see them every day and possibly even work with them! Someone on twitter recently asked if people would take up a new job knowing that their ex works at the same place. Some responses were affirmative; others wanted some more information regarding the nature and logistics of the job, and others simply said no. I said I'd take the job and strut to that job every day, and that is not just me talking for the sake of sounding brave. I have actually been there, done that and I printed t-shirts for everyone to declare my awesomeness. So what are my tips for succeeding at this? Get a pen and paper. 

#1 Acknowledge that you may still have feelings for your ex: The reason many people fail with this 'getting over the ex' business is because they want to be in denial. They want to put up a facade of toughness, whereas one wave of the hand or a slight touch will have them undone at the seams. Say it to yourself that you still have feelings for this person, then take the next step...

Friday, January 27, 2017

When you get too holy for your spouse to appreciate

This short clip, though funny, is reminiscent of what happens in some homes.

This is what you get when you get too holy to appreciate the "coming together of man and wife" in purity and truth. Yes! Yes!! When you get down to making love to your spouse.

Watch and learn.


What do you think?

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