The most common complaint I have heard from people in long term relationships and marriage is that they have been taken for granted by their partners. Why do people take their spouses for granted yet will walk through hell and high water to fulfill the wishes of people who have not invested as much in them? If you have been wondering why your partner seems to have taken you for granted, putting your relationship into a downward spiral, this post will give you pointers on what you're doing to enable it
#1 You can't make basic decisions on your own: Irrespective of what people might say, no one wants a partner who cannot make basic decisions on their own. Do you always ask your partner to choose what you should wear? Are you always asking what kind of haircut you should get or when you should take a shower? Yea...it's not cute. It's called being needy and your partner will soon assume that you need him or her to push you to get things done, and in this day and age, that's not romantic. It's called being an unnecessary burden.
#2 You agree with everything even when you don't really agree: This is something many women and men fall for - the need to make their spouses believe they are in support of everything they do, because they have falsely led themselves to believe that if you love a person, you must agree with everything that person does. If you have that idea in your head, delete it right now, and engrave what I am about to tell you - you do not have to agree with everything a person does simply because you love them. You are not a pre-programmed robot. If your partner has an attribute you absolutely cannot stand,, call him or her out on it. Even if by some smidgen of tolerance, you find that you can tolerate it but it will keep you awake at night or stress you out, speak up. By refusing to speak, you are giving your partner the impression that he or she can do whatever and get away with it. In other words, you are not building a relationship, you are building a master-slave association.
#3 You don't have your own income: Let us quit playing fairy tales in our heads and simply accept this as a fact: a spouse is more likely to take you for granted when you have no financial input in the relationship. Heavy financial reliance on a spouse will cause him or her to remind you you only have two legs when you buy a new pairs of shoes, or tell you what kind of lifestyle you should be living. Can't blame anyone but yourself here. He who pays the piper dictates the tune. Get your own income and contribute to the relationship.
#4 You are too scared to rock the boat: and your partner knows this! Many people go into relationships with a pre-formed belief that their partner is more important than they are; hence, they need to worship that partner even when he or she is being unreasonable. Don't be fooled; your partner can smell when you are too scared to rock the boat, they notice every time you bite your tongue and the million and one 'crimes' they commit that you pretend not to notice. And guess what? They are not about to stop. You let it happen, so they will keep riding the wave.
Have you been taken for granted and identified how you enabled it? Share with us! XOXO