Sunday, May 14, 2017

Happy Mothers Day

Today is May 14th. It is Mothers Day.

It is a day set aside to honour mothers and to appreciate the influence of mothers in society.

It has many different dates around the world. However this day, the second Sunday in May, is the most popular day to celebrate this occasion.

Here is a video tribute to all mothers around the world.

"Life does not come with a manual... It comes with a Mother"

Happy Mothers Day

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Men, Stop killing Us Because You Love Us

Logging into Twitter today is one of the worst decisions I have made this week. The hashtag #RIPKarabo was trending and I couldn't help but wonder who she was. Did a celebrity die? Was she in public office? As I followed the trend, I saw her picture - Karabo Mokoena, a beautiful young woman whose smile was enough to melt the heart of Hades. I'd seen her picture before - two weeks ago when it was stated by a twitter user that she was missing. I remember thinking to myself 'perhaps she's hanging out with friends and will return'. A number of people who have been declared missing have been found, right?


Today her picture is flooding social media because she was found dead. Dead. Killed and burned allegedly by her ex-boyfriend. I could not begin to fathom the last few minutes of her passage from this earth, as her life flashed before her eyes and she realized with that final breath that all her dreams and aspirations were not going to happen. I tried to imagine what kind of rage possessed him to kill her and then proceed to set her on fire. Was it to hide evidence? Or was he just mad that she was slipping out of his hands? Did he feel he desperately needed to do something? what was crossing his mind?
Image result for man killing woman
Source: The Express Tribune
I am sad and angry at the same time. Sad at the fact that many women are killed by the men who 'love' them. Many women are violated by the men who promised to stand by them and support them. Many women are stifled, insulted, berated and mentally destroyed by the men who once told them they felt like home.

Many women are dead inside but no one can tell. They show up at work, listen to presentations, smile, perhaps even laugh sometimes. But you can tell if you know the song that once played from their hearts that their lights have been dimmed, some even put out completely, by the men who are meant to be their pillars of support.

The songs in their hearts have stopped playing, and all they do is respond to the autoplay tune they have become accustomed to. Many women die physically; many women die emotionally; many women die in many ways because of the actions of someone who 'loves' them and whom they love. My question is 'why do men think it is normal behaviour to kill us?

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Happy Easter. He is risen

Easter is the celebration of Jesus Christ's resurrection. The is the premise of the Christian faith.

We have the hope that we will rise on that day.

Happy Easter.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

"So much of what is love, is fish love." - Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski

Abraham Joshua Twerski is an American Hasidic rabbi, a scion of the Chernobil Hasidic dynasty, and a psychiatrist specializing in substance abuse.

He has written over 60 books on Judaism and self-help topics, including several books with Charles M. Schulz's Peanuts comic strips used to illustrate human interaction and behavior.

Hear him speak about the Love of Giving

What do you think?

The Stages of Abuse: Why It's So Difficult to Leave

Image result for abuse

If there is one word that is easily thrown around when a person narrates their experience with abuse, it is "leave". As it should be, victims of abuse are constantly encouraged to leave to avoid being killed emotionally, psychologically or physically. But for some reason, victims of abuse tend to go back to their abusers and it is difficult to understand why. How does anyone return over and over again to a source of pain and distress? I took some time to map out the stages of abuse, and here it is. PS: This is not a scientific cycle based on scientific studies. This is based on the stories of people (both male and female who have suffered abuse physically, emotionally and psychologically). 

Stage #1 The Endearing Stage: It is very common for people to say the signs of a person being abusive are common in courtship but that is not entirely true. Many abusers spend a lot of time grooming their victims depending on how much work they figure they need to do to endear that victim to themselves. They go all out and make the best shows of romantic gestures. They open doors, let you drive their cars, complement your beauty or suaveness, speak highly of your intelligence and cannot stop telling their friends about how awesome you are. You feel comfortable, secure and loved and then suddenly

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Lavish Weddings and Divorces: A Positive Correlation?

Image result for big wedding ceremony
Source: Green wedding shoes

It seems to have become a trend in society to expect a dramatic divorce shortly after a lavish wedding between two people of high financial standing and an extravagant lifestyle. Very often, I read posts of such divorce notices, and the comments suggest what you are possibly thinking about lavish weddings - they often lead to divorce! Some people have suggested that lavish weddings are thrown to hide problems between the couple and give the impression that is beautiful and well in their love paradise, while others believe a lavish wedding is a must for certain kinds of people. 

I want to address the idea that seems to have been engraved in our minds that lavish weddings will definitely lead to divorce. That buying an expensive dress, hiring an entire wine estate and calling the best DJ in town to the reception is the perfect recipe for divorce. That could not be farther from the truth. There are small weddings that have been held away from the eyes of the public that also fell into the divorce pit. Of course, we don't read about them much because they were held in secret. But we must understand that divorce is a possibility irrespective of the type of wedding you have. This is because the wedding is not a determinant of the success of your marriage. Big or small, the wedding is a ceremony and nothing more. 

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